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The other day I went to visit my son. He still smokes. I wanted a cigarette for some reason. I wanted to make a cup of coffee and smoke a cigarette. I was in my pre-Christmas guilt funk. I was almost out of e-liquid for my stupid e-cig. But I held out.

On the way home Saturday I drove 40 miles out of my way to go buy a new e-cig so I would have 2 of them and to buy some more e-liquid. I went to the most crowded mall in Cincinnati. It took me about 20 minutes to get into the mall and another 20 to get back out because it was the Saturday before Christmas so it was very busy.
I went to the kiosk and there was the same guy I always see. I bought a pink e-cig with a purple light at the end when you puff on it. He told me if they mailed me the e-liquid it would only cost half as much (?) so I gave him my address. He re-wrote it in a foreign language. He is from Pakistan maybe. I hope I get it.
Anyway the point of this story is that smoking e-cigs, as Albert Ellis my favorite therapist would say, is not the most elegant solution to quitting smoking. But in a way it is. It's a pain in the ass, it doesn't taste that great, it's sort of expensive (though a lot cheaper than cigarettes) and I feel like a fool with a pink metal cigarette hanging out of my mouth.
But I kind of like to be a loser. Looking stupid is part of my identity. Having a bad taste in my mouth is what I like.

I know there are people who think I should give up nicotine altogether, but I don't want to yet this time. I'm old, I'm worrying about stuff, I have 30 cats and a chihuahua and being kind of weird is just where I'm at.

Who's your little buddy?
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