Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival.
'runner's high' can also be a prelude to a massive cardiac or brain incident & sweet, sweet death!
Even if you believe in God, never stop questioning his existence. It's good brain exercise and gives you something to do when you're high.
Marijuana simplifies life. Everything is either very silly, very scary, or very delicious.
Instead of the War on Drugs and the War on Terror, we should start a War on Futility.
Drugs don't make my life better, my life makes drugs better.
You can make a pretty tasty and effective Red Bull if you have some iced tea and some cocaine laying around.
There is something magical about the first time you walk into a bar and they remember your drink.
Another night at a bar. Another bar that doesn't have monkey waiters. Greatest country in the world my ass.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that feelings suck so you should booze it up until they run away.
You call it alcoholism, I call it my nightly purification from contact with the outside world.