I got notified of a gift subscription from PLF515 on December 22. I have been trying to put into words ever since then what this subscription means to me. The more I thought, the more it meant, until now I am afraid I have too much to say. Please bear with me after the fold.
I started posting here during the 2008 Presidential election. Having lurked for several months, I realized that I had found a group of similar (not like) minded people. But since I had an entire lifetime of being an active Republican behind me, I thought I would have something to offer that was not commonly offered. To my surprise, I was not the only, or even one of the few, former Republicans. There were many. Much of what I thought was my unique insight was so old hat it wasn't even worth opening a discussion. The writers here are savvy, well informed and know how to present their cases well.
I also discovered that even if what I had to say was somewhat different from the main track, there was no way that anybody could read all the diaries posted here. So people find the writers who best touch their reader nerves and read those writers. Developing a following requires a great deal of work, and much writing and posting. As a full time employee and full time student I had no time to do this cultivation (besides, I don't write as well or as passionately as many writers here).
So I began writing for myself. There were things I just had to get out of my system, and this site provided a safe place to do so. Some diaries were well received, some less so, and I was totally unable to predict which would be read and which wouldn't. It became more important to me to just express myself and let the chips fall where they may.
Based on this, you can imagine my astonishment to find that one of the writers I truly admire had chosen to give me a gift subscription. This hit me on so many levels! First, I was valued by someone I respect. This came at a very important time for me. PLF had no way of knowing that my job has been on the line since September. The company, with no new work (I specialize in start up programs) and the looming sequestration is cutting back. I have been extended twice, but face another deadline for end of month. This has had me feeling very uncomfortable about the future. My husband has been awaiting assignment since May, and he requires blood pressure medication. I have a son who was rear ended in October, and he is still getting treatment. How do I care for the family without health care coverage or income? But most important was what this has done to my self esteem. It is hard to realize that the company feels it can do perfectly well without you. Knowing that this particular person at Kos thinks enough of me to gift me a subscription lifted my self esteem to almost normal.
Second, the person who gifted me has so many great qualities. He is always clear and succinct when commenting or writing a diary. He is kind to others even when he disagrees. He does not get in the middle of the pie fights, but brings sanity. He has always been somebody I would like to consider a friend.
Thank you, PLF, for the gift. And thank you, Kossacks, for being a community I can belong to without being judged or censored.