I'm done with them, sell the Capitol and White House and move our public officials into unused emergency FEMA trailers.
The US woke up with a national hangover and one leg dangling over the fiscal cliff. Yes, we're in fine shape.
Whenever I walk the tightrope I make sure to have a safety harness tied around my neck, just in case.
May each of you feel the hand of your chosen deity rest warmly upon the appropriate location on your body throughout the coming year.
Flip the script in 2013 and be MORE of a dick than you already are.
Who are we kidding. 2013's just like all the other years.
Is anyone's new years resolution to bring me some beer and pizza?