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John Boehner's hapless Tea Party Opposition
There's no other way to put it.  We're doomed.

If I could post the whole article, I would.  It's that funny.  However, we'll need the proper soundtrack:

Boehner had to go.  That much was certain.  He betrayed Conservative Principles and not only let taxes go up, but he gave He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named a victory.  Again.

But here was the first problem.  Who was going to replace him?  Cantor and Ryan (The Marmalard and Niedermeyer of the House) didn't want it.  That should have been the warning right there.  But no, that didn't stop our intrepid plotters.

So they did what secret plotters in all the movies do.  They went to a bar and discussed it openly.  Trouble is, in a bar, a plotter can be overheard.  Also, this is the bar where EVERYONE in Washington hangs out.

So they started whipping votes.  All they needed was 20.  Twenty votes and there would have been a second ballot.  What then?  Perhaps they were hoping that in the free-for-all some Noble Knight of No to rise and take on the mantle of the Opposer-in-Chief.

But alas, it was not to be.  As in many such caper movies, just when the bad guys are about to pull off their nefarious plot, someone gets cold feet and things start going horribly wrong.

Here’s where things went truly, hilariously awry. Any good coup depends on stealth. But on Thursday, an enterprising Politico photographer snapped Rep. Tim Huelskamp sitting in open session reading from his iPad — not making this up — the entire roster of the plot against Boehner. Just so there was no mistaking that he was up to no good, the document was entitled “YOU WOULD BE FIRED IF THIS GOES OUT.” Not making that up either.
As it was, the plotters were less than ten votes short of denying Boehner a majority of votes.  

How close did they come?  

Boehner had to rely on the votes of Marsha Blackburn and.....wait for it...

Michelle Bachmann.

I'll give you a few moments to let that sink in.

Ready to go on?  Good.  Now, while this story really does deserve the bubbanomics HAHAHAHAHA treatment, I feel I need to offer one sobering thought:

These are the people running the House of Representatives right now.  These are the Tea People that were elected in 2010 and cemented in place by the hyperpartisan gerrymandering of 2011.  The people involved in the coup attempt were NOT the "usual suspects" of the Caucus of Crazy, but rather some of the "saner" ones according to the punditry.  These are the people who have up to 70 votes and more.  These are the people that Majority Leader Cantor cultivated in 2011 and 2012.

These are the people who have no problems at all saying things like this:

So yeah, they tried and failed to oust Speaker Boehner.  That proves their incompetence.  And they now have to GOVERN.  Which they CANNOT DO.  But they MUST because they are the ones who were elected to govern.

We're doomed.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Seriously, if Boehner would get some courage, (15+ / 0-)

    we could actually govern.

    "Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." --M. L. King "You can't fix stupid" --Ron White -6.00, -5.18

    by zenbassoon on Fri Jan 04, 2013 at 08:16:34 AM PST

    •  He'd have to be nice to the EBIL Nancy Pelosi.... (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      zenbassoon, triciawyse, avsp

      he'd rather die

    •  And by that I presume (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      you are suggesting he ought to yank more committee assignments from obstreperous Tea Partiers. Yet, as a recent popular diary points out, these days precious few bills actually get crafted in committee anyway; any legislation on anything important that could pass the Senate get signed into law will be drafted in the Smoke-Filled Room at four in the morning by Boehner and Obama and/or their appointed negotiators. So kicking them off their committees does poke them in the eye and make them less likely to do anything Boehner wants, and doesn't make it any more likely for sane legislation to emerge from the House as far as I can see. Any GOP congresssman from a red state, whether he's a Tea Partier or not, is far more afraid of the Tea Party base and a primary challenger than he is of John Boehner and anything John Boehner could do to him.

      Boehner's position seems to be a natural result of the right-wing media strategy that has pushed the GOP base further and further to the extreme right. Compromise with Democrats? The base on which he depends for support doesn't want him to compromise with reality. He is in an impossible position. If he weren't John Boehner I'd actually feel sorry for him, but he is so there's no chance of that.

      Visit Lacking All Conviction, your patch of grey on those too-sunny days.

      by eataTREE on Fri Jan 04, 2013 at 08:36:20 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  So what are you recommending that we send Speaker (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Boehner a "Get Well Soon" card from Daily Kos?


    The means is the ends in the process of becoming. - Mahatma Gandhi

    by HoundDog on Fri Jan 04, 2013 at 08:25:10 AM PST

  •  Palace intrigue just getting started. (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    zenbassoon, FiredUpInCA, triciawyse
  •  Boner: I was a victim of soycumstances! (8+ / 0-)

    Whoop, whoop, whoop!

    Someone once asked me why do you always insist on taking the hard road? and I replied why do you assume I see two roads?

    by funluvn1 on Fri Jan 04, 2013 at 08:32:46 AM PST

  •  It's a feature, not a flaw (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    zenbassoon, Mighty Ike, MKinTN

    Keep in mind that these very conservative Tea Party representatives are NOT making a mess by accident.  What they are doing is EXACTLY what they and their supporters think as necessary and correct.

    To the very conservative voters and monied interests that got the Tea Party representatives into congress, the best government is the government that does the least.  This has been the credo of the conservatives for a long time.  If you are a very conservative business owner, you want the government to make NO regulations that interfere with your profit-making.  If you are a very conservative voter, you want to government to make NO laws that interfere with your racist life-style.  Those Tea Party representatives have this same philosophy of government.

    So when these conservative representatives refuse to allow a bill to come to the floor, or refuse to confirm an appointment, or vote to shut down a government agency, they are doing exactly what their conscience and their constituents tell them to do.

    "The fool doth think he is wise: the wise man knows himself to be a fool" - W. Shakespeare

    by Hugh Jim Bissell on Fri Jan 04, 2013 at 08:34:21 AM PST

  •  Well, actually, we the people govern. (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    skillet, zenbassoon, Mighty Ike, MKinTN

    Our representatives are merely agents. An agent is someone who is sent to do stuff. If s/he can't do, then the agent has to be fired. Incompetent agents are a nuisance. However, there is reason in selecting incompetents. If what is being proposed is not worth doing, then whom better to send but an incompetent?

    The Tea Party folk were not mistaken in 2010 that there is a problem in Congress. They were mistaken in thinking the extant political regime would send along competent replacements. They were mistaken in taking corporate support for their perception as agreement, rather than co-option.
    That Congress is a nest of vipers or a den of extortionists still has to sink in.
    There is a four decades long trajectory to derail. It will take some more time.

    We organize governments to deliver services and prevent abuse.

    by hannah on Fri Jan 04, 2013 at 08:37:15 AM PST

  •  Doomed (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    skillet, zenbassoon, MKinTN

    Or blessed by their bumbling incompetence, I wonder.

    "I'll believe that corporations are people when I see Rick Perry execute one."

    by bink on Fri Jan 04, 2013 at 08:40:00 AM PST

  •  We need Senator Blutarsky, Faber '63 ... (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    You have exactly 10 seconds to change that look of disgusting pity into one of enormous respect!

    by Cartoon Peril on Fri Jan 04, 2013 at 11:55:03 AM PST

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