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I wanna be the brilliant old sage everyone visits for prophetic wisdom, like Aristotle or Maya Angelou or the janitor in The Breakfast Club.

In a democracy, judging values trembles before the question: ‘And who are you to tell me how to live?’

It seems the group of people who are easily offended and the group of people who are easily confused tend to be the same group.

Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people. Really bored minds make up sayings.

According to this Wikipedia article I just updated, Abraham Lincoln liked to rub an otter on his torso while playing Yahtzee with a pelican.

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride? Just blow the groom at the next wedding you're at. No one will ever ask you to be a bridesmaid again.

Closeted optimist? A person that only believes in the inherent pessimism in humanity.

Why kill someone when you can just get them to sell their soul instead?

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