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Guys, what the hell? Seriously, what are you thinking?

I'm sitting here, minding my own business, trying to attract tourists to come enjoy my beautiful architecture, my incredible landscaping... and I'm really, really hoping we can get past, y'know. The other stuff.

But then you come out with this new bill to change the way we count votes in the state. It ruins everything. It makes me wish I could just get swallowed by a sinkhole.

Did you know I was the birthplace of William Henry Harrison?

This plan counts the votes of Obama supporters, or Democrats, or "urban people" - Have I used the right code words here? Do we know who we're talking about? - less than other Virginians.

But you need to do the actual math. No one on your side - at least I hope no one on your side - has crunched the numbers. Last election, Barack Obama won 51.16% of the vote.

Under the new bill he would have won four of the states 13 electoral votes.

And do you know how much it counts an Obama voter as? (It's 4/13 divided by 51.16%. I'll wait. Do it. Get a calculator. You'll crap yourself.)

IT IS ALMOST EXACTLY THREE FIFTHS.

This bill counts an Obama voter as 3/5 of a person. I don't know if that fraction rings a bell with you. It was kind of a big deal, way back when. Women in
fancy dresses, guys in gray - a lot of gray was in style. Is the light coming on now?

I'm the birthplace of the first Thanksgiving, and I'm just trying to be a big,
pretty historically significant house in America. No one is going to remember
that now. Thanks, rednecks.


NOTE: Please read more of my stuff, like how I'm a bizarre minor character in Tina Fey's book, or The Clarifications Of Pat Robertson - A Celebration. Or you can pay 99 cents and buy my bizarre love story about life in a fashion magazine, which is kinda sorta the true story of how I married my wife (Kindle/Nook).

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Comment Preferences

  •  What a blast from the past! (0+ / 0-)

    This was from 2 centuries ago, right?  Please tell me I am right...  wow, just, wow, more from the regressive party

    ''The guarding of military and diplomatic secrets at the expense of informed representative government provides no real security for our Republic.'' - Justice Hugo L. Black of the Supreme Court

    by geekydee on Fri Jan 25, 2013 at 05:11:48 AM PST

  •  Such perspective (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    pelagicray, Grabber by the Heel

    But I get the feeling that even if you provided this information to Virginia, they wouldn't care, simply because for them, this would be the desired outcome.

    •  For the bunch in question you are probably right. (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      zerelda, JamieG from Md

      Their "racism" widens a bit though. It includes all us NOVA "urbanites" along with the "colored." For non-Virginians (and a lot of Virginians not digging) this map shows why and how there is some truth there. The blue counties are one of four compositions:

      1) NOVA whose population is employed in and tends to revolve around federal government and its contractors and not be "Real Virginians" as one hack noted:

      On MSNBC this morning, McCain adviser Nancy Pfotenhauer asserted that “real Virginia” does not include Northern Virginia:

          I certainly agree that Northern Virginia has gone more Democratic. … But the rest of the state — real Virginia if you will — I think will be very responsive to Senator McCain’s message.

      She dug in with:
      Real Virginia, I take to be, this part of the state that’s more Southern in nature, if you will.
      2) Hampton/Norfolk which has a much larger African American percentage than NOVA with the added more cosmopolitan urbanites and less insular "ocean port" culture.

      3) Majority AA counties forming that string from the Chesapeake to N.C.

      4) Pointy head liberal university people concentrated in a spot or two.

      The calculation above is damned appropriate and ironic as this is clearly, a stated goal, to ensure a minority view controls the vote. The sponsor is quoted:

      The last election, constituents were concerned that it didn’t matter what they did, that more densely populated areas were going to outvote them
      So we will rig the system. I hope this fails, even though the TP/GOP has full state control at the moment. If not I hope we 3/5 of a voters up here can implement some harsh reaction.

      The only foes that threaten America are the enemies at home, and those are ignorance, superstition, and incompetence. [Elbert Hubbard]

      by pelagicray on Fri Jan 25, 2013 at 06:55:07 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  The Republicans are coming up with ways (0+ / 0-)

    to make dirt vote, which is the only way they can win these days.

    Hige sceal þe heardra, heorte þe cenre, mod sceal þe mare, þe ure mægen lytlað

    by milkbone on Fri Jan 25, 2013 at 07:14:18 AM PST

  •  Dilutes the impact of my vote in Oregon. At least (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    JamieG from Md

    for president, no matter if the repugs can't rig the vote here. We better figure out how to fight this in a way that Oregonians can help Virginians and other Democratic voters in targeted states.

    Maybe Obama will loan us OFA. If any of you signed up with OFA this election, you know how sharp a tool it is. It would give us a chance to call iand organize into states getting vote rigged even if our own states are safe.

  •  Wow. And whoa. And good f'n grief. n/t (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    a gilas girl, JamieG from Md

    Don't tell me what you believe, show me what you do and I will tell you what you believe.

    by Meteor Blades on Fri Jan 25, 2013 at 11:52:06 AM PST

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