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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…

And Now, An Opposing Verse

Since Republicans have to issue a rebuttal to everything, C&J cedes our above-the-fold section to the GOP response to Richard Blanco's inaugural poem:

Sun came up,
over our shores, peeking over the topless Smokies glistening with coal, greeting the faces of the Great Lakes and their fracking potential,
spreading a simple truth across the tar sands pipelines of the Great Plains, then charging across the Real America to the Rockies.

Trucks heavy with precious bounty from Goldline---or cheesy grits or baked chocolate goodies (you sure these are homemade?)---rumbling over highways
teeming with godless heathen, on their way to pick up welfare checks,
or drugs---or to ring-up chips and beer bought by strapping young bucks with food stamps,
which my mother and me once relied on but, see, we deserved them because...because.

The moochers, having registered to vote a hundred times each under "Mickey Mouse" on behalf of ACORN, stir under the climate-cooling sky,
lips puckered and swollen from suckling at the teat of socialism.
Takers taking.
Our guns, our money, our freedom. They take my lunch order and screw it up. I send it back for another, tho I know
they'll prob'ly spit in it.

Those people.

Chalk squeaks on blackboard: Jesus never rode a dinosaur the earth is not chilling you can't contract your way to prosperity Ronald Reagan wasn't perfect women should be able to make their own health decisions.
So many myths dancing and flickering like flames atop a liberal candelabra, yet no water to extinguish them because of the gay, pagan and feminist-fueled drought that repels God's gift of moisture.

Me. One me.
Mine. All mine.
Keep your government hands off my Medicare.
Cut your Social Security but not mine. I earned mine.

I head home: through the gloss of rain or weight of snow, which reminds me: we have to cut city snow removal from the budget because austerity will lead us
to freedom.
But always home, always under one sky, my sky, not your sky, got it? Got it?!!
And always one moon, to be colonized via transvaginal probe-shaped shuttlecraft within eight years and maintained by child janitors and blah people.

Like a silent filibuster tapping on every rooftop and every window, of one country---God's chosen red-staters and those freeloading bastard job-killing blue-staters---a new electoral map waiting for us to gerrymander it,
waiting for us to name it.

Limbaugh Land.

Probably sounds better with bongos.

Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Note: Nine out of ten Mainers' toes believe global warming is a hoax until June at the earliest.  Film at 11.

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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Valentine's Day: 16
Days 'til the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show: 13
Percent of Americans who favored a path to citizenship for illegal immigrants in the summer of 2010:  50%
Percent who favor a path to citizenship now: 62%
(Source: AP-GfK poll)
Percent of the 1.4 million-soldier U.S. military made up of women: 14%
Minimum number of women who have served in Iraq or Afghanistan or neighboring nations in support of the wars: 280,000
(Source: AP)
Date on which C&J posted its first pic---4 years, 1 month and 19 days after our first C&J diary: 1/29/08

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Tuesday epic Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:

The liberal has no moral center of gravity and for all of their faults there is some level of morality within the GOP. That means that the liberal can say and do anything, look no further than Bill Clinton for confirmation on that. So Obama and his posse are about to transform America in their vision of what America needs to be. What is that exactly? IMHO that transformation is reducing the Constitution to a yellow piece of parchment where lip service can be given to the document but in the liberal plan theirs is no longer recognition of a higher power guaranteeing the inalienable rights. That door must be kicked in and that process began in the last term when abortive materials were forced on Christian institutions, see ya 1st amendment, it now means what liberals say it means. I will see you at Concord Bridge.
---Commenter "maverpa" at RedState
All together now: 1…2…3… Classy!

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Puppy Pic of the Day:  Tarantino's next flick: Django Resuscitated

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CHEERS to previews of coming attractions.  Whoops!  I think President Obama may have spilled the beans Sunday night on whether or not Hillary Clinton is running in 2016.  Let me preface this by saying I really don’t care yet.  But since no one else in the universe caught this bit from 60 Minutes, I'll be happy to reveal the big little reveal.  As a precaution I'll yell Spoiler Alert!!!

It has been a great collaboration over the last four years. I'm going to miss her. Wish she was sticking around. But she has logged in so many miles, I can't begrudge her wanting to take it easy for a little bit.
In political terms, "for a little bit" is equal to approximately two years.  You heard it here first.

CHEERS to goin' all Scandinavia on America's ass.  Y'know those floating offshore wind farms they've got in Norway?  It'd be pretty cool to see one of 'em here in America, right?  But, golly, which state's Public Utilities Commission could be so visionary that they'd actually approve it, even over objections of that state's tea party governor?  Yup---the Great State of Maine:

Coming soon to a coast
of Maine near you.
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[T]he PUC accepted a term sheet with the Norwegian company Statoil, which proposes to spend $120 million on four floating wind turbines off the coast of Maine. Under the deal, Maine consumers agree to buy the power it produces for the next 20 years. … this is a pilot project, and it will be used to develop the technology to expand the facility into a full commercially viable wind farm by the end of the decade that sells power for competitive prices.

This would be the first floating off-shore wind plant in the United States and one of the first in the world.  The pilot project would not only create construction jobs, but would also create permanent jobs in a new industry.  If it succeeds, Maine's renewable energy sector could take off like the tech centers in Silicon Valley, or Route 128 around Boston.

Here's a quick demo video that's very cool.  Meanwhile, the state capitol continues to be powered by its own wind source: the governor's mouth.  Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!  That joke killed in the Catskills.

JEERS to lying liars.  Speaking of hot air, on January 29, 2001, President George W(orst) Bush promised to "act boldly and swiftly" to deal with our challenges concerning energy.  His brilliant idea: put Cheney in charge of a secret task force that would make sure nothing happened boldly or swiftly.  As a result, the big oil companies were forced to deal with the challenge of where to sock away all their record profits.  (We hear the Exxon-Mobil CEO's mattress was twelve stories high.)

CHEERS to Tiller's revenge.  It was three years ago today that a Kansas jury needed only 37 minutes to decide the fate of abortion doctor George Tiller's murderer: freakin' guilty (emphasis on freak).  He's spending the rest of his life behind bars, smug in the knowledge that he'll be rewarded with a penthouse suite in Heaven as a martyr (and we're spending ours smug in the knowledge that he's in for a very rude surprise when he finds his elevator going down).  Meanwhile, the clinic that Tiller ran, which had been closed since his death, is re-opening in a couple months as a comprehensive health care clinic for women.  Let's see how long it takes the state to impose draconian new building-code requirements.  ("The doors must be 18 feet wide!"  "The bathroom fixtures must be solid gold!" etc. etc.)  But for now, two simple words: Roeder FAIL.

President William McKinley's tomb in Ohio
If you're going to McKinley's tomb,
it helps to have legs of steel.
CHEERS to #25.  Happy birthday to William McKinley, born on January 29, 1843 in Niles, Ohio.  Talk about cruising to victory---in 1896, while William Jennings Bryan was dashing around the country stumping on a measly $50k, McKinley campaigned from his back porch, sipping iced tea as his fat-cat supporters raised $3 million for him.  Unfortunately his belly got in the way of a couple bullets fired by an anarchist five years later, and that was that.  Pay your respects at his humble resting place.  (If you ever plan to visit in person, be sure to take along a Sherpa.  And don't look down!)

CHEERS to confusion in the crazy ranks.  One of the political godfathers of the God-hates-gays movement is a Republican peckerhead whose name might ring a bell: Gary Bauer.  Seems the fossil spoke a few words recently about the gay horde crashing America's gate, and he believes that either a) The GOP Has Lost The Marriage Equality Fight or b) The GOP Will Never Surrender On Same-Sex Marriage.  They're so cute when they bump into themselves.

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Five years ago: 1/29/08---Liveblogging Bush's last State of the Union:

Elapsed time since the start of the speech and Cheney falling asleep: 30 seconds.

The last time the applause meter registered this low was back in 1896 when Grover Cleveland delivered his last State of the Union in mime.

The Republican party of 2013 says:
"Who? Bush? Never heard of him."
"We must renew the No School Board Left Standing Bill so that we can keep American children ignorant and chained to test scores instead of learnin'.  And Congress must renew the most important part of my education legacy: Ritalin vouchers."

"I believe Americans can produce lead-tainted toys and poisoned dog food as well or better than the Chinese.  We can and we will!"

"Americans have good hearts.  Well, except the ones who have heart disease but no insurance.  They're screwed!  HehHehHeh.  That's humor, America.  Ah'm a funny guy.  Got that joke from Boehner.  I call him Orange Guy."

Praising ... [applause!] ... the ... [applause!] ... troops ... [applause!] ... is ... [applause!] ... the ... [applause!] ... one ... [applause!] ... sure ... [applause!] ... way ... [applause!] ... to ... [applause!] ... get ... [applause!] ... lots ... [applause!] ... of ... [applause!] ... applause.

Bush just changed into his jammies.  It's over.  Somebody wake up Cheney---gently.

Well, that was fun.  Let's not do it again!

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And just one more…

CHEERS to getting the last laugh.  Via Crooks & Liars, and posted without comment, for no comment is necessary:

Hillary Clinton LOLpstyle response to Rand Paul saying on Jan. 23, 2012 that
Well, except maybe this comment from Pat Buchanan on The McLaughlin Group: "I think she handled it well. The issue, I think, is pretty much gone now, and Republicans did not succeed in what they were trying to do."  Broken clock, meet twice a day.

Have a nice Tuesday.  Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:

Bill in Portland Maine ate nothing but vegetables, so they must be bad for you.
---Instaputz

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Poll

Which January birthday gaggle would you rather do lunch with?

20%882 votes
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| 4326 votes | Vote | Results

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