Yeah, we know you came together and gave Barack Hussein Obama the largest percentage of the vote since 1988, two elections in a row. We know you just said you want a random liberal northern black dude to be president more than a war hero and an incredibly wealthy businessman. But we don't care what you think.
By happenstance, while you were busy voting in those presidential elections, we managed to pick up seats in the off year like most opposition parties do, more so than usual thanks largely to the economic catastrophe our former leader left behind (and you not backing up your own leader). And even though we didn't campaign in 2010 on being able to write the election rules for the next ten years, we are in the advantageous position of being able to do so, thanks to those 2010 elections. First we drew the maps for the House of Representatives so we could win fewer votes in the election but still win the majority of seats in the House. We also got to draw the maps for a bunch of state legislatures. Now we want to expand that concept to the Presidential election. We only retain a modicum of power because votes in urban areas count for less than votes non urban areas, so we will use that modicum of power that we have to make votes in urban areas count for even less.
We lost the election. In fact, we've lost three of the last four national elections. We know you don't want us. We could try and win elections by talking to you, the people who don't vote for us. We have a bunch of people telling us to do that. That would be hard. We would have to listen to your needs and desires. But we don't give a fuck. We are the bosses and the bosses are entitled to rule making, so we're going to go that route.
-Your Betters,
The Republicans