Sorry but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin.
I'm 100% confident that I could catch a bullet with my fingers if someone threw it to me softly.
The NRA cares about your liberty in the same way I care about sexual partners after 2 A.M.
It was ironic that he had to sell sperm just to pay child support.
No matter how often I check my driver's license, the name never changes to Richard Grieco. Hard work doesn't always pay off, kids.
The Dow Jones was down today due to existential angst. "WHO AM I?" it reportedly howled. "What IS a Dow, even?"
I only question existence itself because nothing within it has the right answers and I'm really fucking high.