State Representative Jerry O'Neil (R-Montana) is
sponsoring a bill to allow defendants to “bargain with the court” to receive “corporal punishment in lieu of incarceration.”
Good news: Montana can appoint a Spanker of Miscreants (job creation!) and those who commit misdemeanors and felonies can argue with the judge over the number of spankings they should receive for their crimes.
Some suggestions:
Egging a house: 3 spankings
TP'ing a tree: 4 spankings
Defacing property: 5 spankings
Stealing a car: 10 spankings if car is undamaged. If car is damaged: 15 spankings
If car is totaled: 20 spankings
Rape: 40 spankings, plus victim gets to hammer nails through the paddle
Bad news: Sadly, though, Rep O'Neil's colleagues have already labeled his legislation "Batcrap crazy," which is apparently not unusual for Montana:
John S. Adams, who covers the Montana legislature for the Great Falls Tribune, wrote : “The measure is already raising eyebrows and is sure to catch the attention of those on the lookout for ‘bat crap crazy’ legislation this session. Republican leadership has been doing its best to tamp down any potential bills the other side might use to embarrass the GOP as they work to craft a budget. This one apparently didn’t get tamped.”
Then-Gov. Brian Schweitzer (D) observed, in a 2011 interview, that some Montana legislators “draft bills just to get an effect from the people,” but “unfortunately, it kind of makes some of them look bat-crap crazy.”
Well, yes. But I suspect that Rep O'Neil needs to be examined by a psychiatrist, stat. Not just for his desire to have people legally spanked, but he's obviously off his rocker:
O’Neil, a long-time state lawmaker, has been the subject of controversy in the past: last November he requested to receive his legislative salary in gold and silver, incorrectly interpreting a provision of the U.S. Constitution that prevents states from minting their own paper currency. More recently, he said that the Newtown, Connecticut tragedy “came at an opportune time” for U.S. Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), she has been working on an assault weapons ban for years.
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