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I must admit, these guys totally caught on to what I'm doing.  I'm shocked, I thought I was being a little more subtle than that.  Well, live and learn, I suppose.  (They'll never guess how I support the radical homosexual agenda!  For those interested, meetings are Thursday nights at 9pm in our secret power bunker under the Empire State Building.  This week I'm bringing oatmeal cookies. :) )

So every day when I wake up at 5am, I think, "How can I support the radical feminist agenda today?"  Because, who doesn't?  But let me break down a few things I have inserted into my daily routine of living my life that help me support this radical feminist agenda of mine.

When I get up in the morning, I let my two dogs outside to go potty and start making my breakfast, using ingredients that I purchased by myself with a job that I work that supports me, and my three cats and two dogs, and my house, all by myself.  Oh and as soon as I finish breakfast, I take my hormonal birth control--by the dozen!--so I can have lots and lots of sex today.  If I so choose.  But usually I don't because I've got more important things to do, like guide Connor on his path to supporting the American Revolution and hunt beavers in between memory sequences.  

After breakfast, I shower and get ready for work, using all the things I have purchased myself, including my shampoo, my clothes, the water that I pay the utility bill for.  Nope, nary a man to be seen around these parts!

Then I drive to my mother's house so we can meetup and carpool to work like the damn treehugging hippies we are.  Oh and I drive a car that my grandmother passed on to me when she passed away.  That she bought by her damn self when she retired with money she saved while working, after her husband passed away and she went back to work.  I do pay the insurance and registration for my car, though it isn't much in comparison.

At work, I manage enterprise level IT systems, specifically my title is Network and Infrastructure Specialist.  So I manage the servers, and storage, and everyone's personal computers at our agency as well.  Yes I said agency, I work for the state government, like a lazy government employee.  (PS: if you know where I work, or deduce it, please don't say the actual agency, thanks.)  Actually just two weekends ago I executed a server move project I had been planning since I started this job back in September 2012.  So glad to have that datacenter move over with, let me tell you.  Seventeen hours that day, wow, and I wish I had a penis to help me get through.  Only men can work long hours like that, I mean, women don't work fulltime jobs then come home to take care of their kids and their home.  I actually had the most experience out of all of the men I work with regarding physical infrastructure so I unofficially led on the project.  So I didn't really consult men for help.  See, look at me undermining men in the workplace!  I make it a daily habit to execute my work with the skills and knowedge I have from working in information technology.  And I'm taking a tech job away from a man who I'm sure wants it really badly.  I mean, I'm supposed to be bad at this kind of stuff and just be a secretary, but to support the radical feminist agenda I do something I like to do instead.  How evil of me!

After work, I sometimes go to the gym (not every day) and work out for a bit.  Not because I have a boyfriend or a husband, silly you!  But because I want to be healthy for my own sake.  I should be trying to get skinny for a man to appreciate looking at me (while I keep my mouth shut), but you know, that damn radical feminist agenda just compels me to do things I want to do for my own sake.

And when I finally get home for the night, what do I do?  Whatever I fucking want to, because I don't have a father, boyfriend, husband, etc., to tell me what to do.  I guess that's the most fun part of supporting the radical feminist agenda for me, it's living my life how I fucking want to when I want to without some authoritarian with a penis telling me to make him a sandwich and pop out babies at regular intervals.  Which would also be really hard because I take like, 100 hormonal BC pills per day.  Just in case.  Because like Rush says, I need lots and lots of BC pills to have lots and lots of sex.  It's not like, I just take one pill a day like those guys who take Cialis for daily use.  And I can't start a family, because as we all know, radical feminists are totally against families.  They never fight to expand WIC, or Medicaid, or fight for better pay so women can afford childcare to go to work.  If you're for abortion, you must be against families, because most women who have abortions already have children, why wouldn't these damn feminists want them to have more?  

But they're right, these upstanding men who know the truth about feminism.  I work for the government because I'm ugly, or attractively challenged, as they like to say.  And I don't want a stinkin' husband (right now) or any stinkin' children (right now).  Man, they have me SO pegged!  And here I thought I was clever, by becoming a self-sufficient, personally responsible human being who pays taxes!  Silly me.

So tell me, fellow radical feminists, what do you do daily to support our radical feminist agenda?  Also, can someone tell me where the meeting moved to?  I drove to the old spot last week, that bowling alley on Fifth Street, and nobody was there.  Thanks a lot guys.

Fri Feb 01, 2013 at 8:16 AM PT: I... holy carp, guys!  (Magikarp if you must know to which holy carp I refer.)  Not only Rescued, but Wrecked!  Color me flattered.  Also, loving all your comments, I am laughing so hard that water is coming out of my cold, deadened man-hating eyes... I think it is a medical condition, for which I must see a doctor.  Keep up the good work RFA army.  ;)

Originally posted to Peony Lane on Thu Jan 31, 2013 at 12:37 PM PST.

Also republished by Sexism and Patriarchy and Community Spotlight.

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