Lifting weights and listening to Italian opera music, because villains in Bruce Willis movies aren't born, they're made.
Fox News™ presents: The Kellogg's® Rice Krispies Mass Shooting o' the Day! See Crackers Snap, and go Pop every night at 11/10c.
The Shawshank Redemption taught me that only in the movies would the toughest prison gang be comprised of red-headed homosexuals.
It's too bad Charlie Chaplin and Hitler never met to have a knife fight for that mustache.
If you're feeling down, feeling like no one cares, remember: they don't, so you can kind of just do whatever because fuck those people.
I'm glad there's a Black History Month. When I was a kid, history was nothing but white people heroically killing everybody.
I hate how you’re born out of nowhere and you’re forced to go to school and get education so you can get a job, what if I wanted to be a duck billed platypus?