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Last night, Stephen Colbert explained what the GOP's problem with immigration and the Latino vote is.

Where did we go wrong?  The GOP and Hispanics are made for each other.
ERIN BURNETT (11/17/2012): When you look at the Hispanic vote, there's so many ways it seems like it should be natural for some of them to vote GOP.

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER (11/13/2012): Hispanics are not inherently liberal.  Hispanics, you know, they're tight family, they have... they're religious Catholic, they're socially conservative.

KARL ROVE (11/7/2012): This ought to be our vote.  They're socially, economically conservative patriotic church-going family-oriented people who are very entrepreneurial, and they ought to be part of our coalition.

Yes, Hispanics and Republicans go together, like beans and very, very white rice... that is highly suspicious of the beans.  (audience laughter and applause)

....

SEN. MARCO RUBIO, R-FL (1/28/2013): You have to identify yourself.  You're going to be fingerprinted.  You're going to have a background check done.
Yes, they must be fingerprinted.  They must have background checks.  After all, they're trying to get citizenship, not an assault weapon.  (wild audience applause)  These people love assault weapons.

Folks, this completely changes how Republicans will be perceived through the Latino lens.

STEPHEN MOORE (1/28/2013): I think it's going to revive the Republican Party among Hispanics.

DEROY MURDOCK (1/26/2013): It takes away from Democrats the race card.  It also lets nervous white voters realize this is not a racist party.

GREG GUTFIELD (1/28/2013): The one good thing about this, if this plan comes to pass, how are the Democrats going to call Republicans racist anymore?  They're going to take that off the table.

Yes, Republicans will take racism off the table.  Or have their busboy do it.  Either way, it's gone.

....

Besides, Hispanic voters know that immigration reform is moving forward only because Republicans decided to stop blocking it.  They're not going to give Obama credit for supporting it all along.  That would be like passing a kidney stone and then thanking your doctor, instead of thanking the kidney stone for taking you on such a character-building adventure of agony.  (audience laughter)  Getting those words out was almost like passing a kidney stone.

Plus, while Obama's trying to woo Hispanics, he's already flirting with another minority group on the side.  According to the White House website, Obama's immigration plan "treats same-sex families as families".  What's next, Mr. President?  Treating gay people as people?

Here's his idea.  The plan gives "U.S. citizens and lawful permanent residents the ability to seek a visa on the basis of a permanent relationship with a same-sex partner".  That's right.  He wants to let gay foreigners across our borders to take our good paying American gaying jobs.  Well folks, I believe in American exceptionalism.  This is an insult to American gays — who I may not approve of — but I believe they are the gayest in the world!  (audience cheering and applause)

Video and full transcript below the fold.

Now folks, my guest tonight is the first Latina on the Supreme Court, so to any Hispanic viewers joining us for the first time, I want to say welcome.  And I want to assure you, that "¡Welcome!" has an upside-down exclamation mark in front of it, or as I call it, a Mexclamation mark.

Now, nación, I've long had deep respect for the Hispanic community ever since they voted Barack Obama in to a second term.  For conservatives, that was a sobering moment — or at least would be, if I could stop drinking.  Again, thank you Captain Morgan.

But the GOP lost the Hispanic vote by 44 points, 71% to 27%.  11 million Hispanics voted for Obama.  To put that in perspective, if you laid them all end to end and stacked them 10 high, you'd have a pretty good start on a border wall.

Now I don't get it.  I thought Hispanics came here to do the jobs Americans don't want to do, like voting for this guy!  What is your name??  It's going to come to me, hold on, I'll remember his name, it's going to come to me.  Chip Ranchero!

Where did we go wrong?  The GOP and Hispanics are made for each other.

ERIN BURNETT (11/17/2012): When you look at the Hispanic vote, there's so many ways it seems like it should be natural for some of them to vote GOP.

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER (11/13/2012): Hispanics are not inherently liberal.  Hispanics, you know, they're tight family, they have... they're religious Catholic, they're socially conservative.

KARL ROVE (11/7/2012): This ought to be our vote.  They're socially, economically conservative patriotic church-going family-oriented people who are very entrepreneurial, and they ought to be part of our coalition.

Yes, Hispanics and Republicans go together, like beans and very, very white rice... that is highly suspicious of the beans.  (audience laughter and applause)

Now granted, we conservatives may have said a few negative things about immigrants in the past, but now all of that is just agua under the Spanish word for bridge.  Because Republicans have now reached out to a group they trust even less than Mexicans — Democrats.

SCOTT PELLEY (1/28/2013): Influential members of the Senate, four from each party, said today they have a breakthrough on comprehensive immigration reform.

SEN. JOHN McCAIN, R-AZ (1/29/2013): These 11 million people need to come out of the shadows, and we need to give them a path to citizenship.

SEN. JOHN McCAIN, R-AZ (1/28/2013): What's going on now is unacceptable. ... We have been too content for too long to allow individuals to mow our lawn, serve our food, clean our homes, and even watch our children, while not affording them any of the benefits that make our country so great.

Yes, Latino immigrants deserve the same benefits — Social Security, Medicare, public education — that all Americans are slowly losing.  But folks, do not think that this is some blanket amnesty with no price to pay.  Just ask Florida Senator and registered Latino Marco Rubio.
SEN. MARCO RUBIO, R-FL (1/28/2013): You have to identify yourself.  You're going to be fingerprinted.  You're going to have a background check done.
Yes, they must be fingerprinted.  They must have background checks.  After all, they're trying to get citizenship, not an assault weapon.  (wild audience applause)  These people love assault weapons.

Folks, this completely changes how Republicans will be perceived through the Latino lens.

STEPHEN MOORE (1/28/2013): I think it's going to revive the Republican Party among Hispanics.

DEROY MURDOCK (1/26/2013): It takes away from Democrats the race card.  It also lets nervous white voters realize this is not a racist party.

GREG GUTFIELD (1/28/2013): The one good thing about this, if this plan comes to pass, how are the Democrats going to call Republicans racist anymore?  They're going to take that off the table.

Yes, Republicans will take racism off the table.  Or have their busboy do it.  Either way, it's gone.

Of course, no surprise that last week, President Obama tried to jump on the mariachi bandwagon with his own plan.  But my friends at Fox News know what que really pasas here.

1/29/2013:

ERIC BOLLING: Why didn't he just say, hey Senate, go for it?

JAMIE WEINSTEIN: This was a campaign rally in many ways.

DANA PERINO: Most people would say it's not helpful to fly and do a campaign-style event and attack people that are coming to the table with a sensible plan.

MEGYN KELLY: What is the best way to make it happen? ... Is it for him to realize that sometimes silence is golden?

Megyn Kelly's right, silence is golden.  That is why I often prefer to watch her show on mute.  (audience applause)

Besides, Hispanic voters know that immigration reform is moving forward only because Republicans decided to stop blocking it.  They're not going to give Obama credit for supporting it all along.  That would be like passing a kidney stone and then thanking your doctor, instead of thanking the kidney stone for taking you on such a character-building adventure of agony.  (audience laughter)  Getting those words out was almost like passing a kidney stone.

Plus, while Obama's trying to woo Hispanics, he's already flirting with another minority group on the side.  According to the White House website, Obama's immigration plan "treats same-sex families as families".  What's next, Mr. President?  Treating gay people as people?

Here's his idea.  The plan gives "U.S. citizens and lawful permanent residents the ability to seek a visa on the basis of a permanent relationship with a same-sex partner".  That's right.  He wants to let gay foreigners across our borders to take our good paying American gaying jobs.  Well folks, I believe in American exceptionalism.  This is an insult to American gays — who I may not approve of — but I believe they are the gayest in the world!  (audience cheering and applause)

Our gay people, our gay men and women, are not just homosexual; they are homoceptional!  We'll be right back.

Stephen also covered the news that came out of Super Bowl XLVII.
Stephen then looked at the "skeeters" who don't believe that picture of Obama shooting skeet is real.
Meanwhile, Jon also covered the Super Bowl blackout and Beyonce, and the controversial ads.
He then looked at what China and Iran have been up to lately.
Stephen talked with Sonia Sotomayor, and Jon talked with Michelle Rhee, which went long.  Here's the entire interview in three parts.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Originally posted to BruinKid on Tue Feb 05, 2013 at 05:00 AM PST.

Also republished by Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

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