72 hours of video are uploaded to YouTube every minute. That's 30 YEARS per day. Finally, there are more cat videos than there are cats.
When my brother and I asked our mom for bunk beds she gave us a hammock and a sleeping bag.
Never bring a knife to a gunfight. In fact, maybe don't attend a gunfight in the first place.
The Pinball Wizard was definitely given the lamest powers at wizard school.
If tornadoes had feet they would walk up to me when they saw me and whisper into my ear "You're a walking disaster."
If you're going to live in your head then at least make sure there is comfortable seating and a lot of books.
My solution to Rubik's Cube was to stop caring what color the little squares were.
It was only when she looked deep into my eyes and said “you’re acting like a fuckin idiot” that I knew she truly loved me..
Sometimes there is no safe word.