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My son was arrested, words I never thought I'd utter in my life.  He has been incarcerated in a prison 8 hours from home since May 30, 2012.   Yes, he's guilty and yes, he has to pay his debt, you'll get no quibble from me over this fact.  
What has prompted me to write my first diary ever is a current diary that encourages people to post their experiences of being arrested or detained as the case may be.
I've read the comments and I am, how should I say this, shocked?  No, saddened might be more accurate.  While I understand that my son's situation is much different than being arrested for civil disobedience or fighting for justice by raising questions and rallying around a cause, the lightheartedness shown in the comments saddens me.  
 

My son was arrested.  These words still tear at my heart 8 1/2 months later.  What his arrest has meant for his immediate and extended family has been a burden both emotionally and financially.  
He left behind a very young family of which he was the sole supporter. The hardship of poverty hurts, coupled with the loss of a dad, instantly, with no chance to say goodbye and too young to understand the circumstances, it becomes unbearable.
He left behind his parents, my husband and I, trying to piece together a mystery puzzle of jagged edges that don't match up with the son we raised and loved.  Still love.
It is a crushing hurt, having a loved one jailed.  
My son was arrested.  The uncertainty of his daily wellness, his mental well being, the food (terrible), the constant delays of the wheels of justice even with a guilty plea, the boredom.  The extreme boredom. Days on end with no contact and no way to reach him. Is he getting the counseling he's requested for the fourth time?  Do they know he's hearing impaired, do they care?   These all weigh heavily on those left behind.  
We worry and then the anger comes, at him, at what he has wrought with his decisions and choices.
My perception upon hearing of an arrest in the news now centers on that person's family.  I wonder how the mom is faring, are the kids ok?  And I wonder, we being innocent players in this, where do we go, how do we get help, how do we cope?
I've tried in vain to find support groups for parents of incarcerated adult children, they seem to not exist.  I'm amazed by that.  And yet I keep reaching out, I need to, for my own sanity and emotional well being.
That is why I clicked on that diary today, to maybe finally find another parent who has experienced a loved one's incarceration, to commiserate and find support. The suggestion that being arrested is good, even for a cause, has left me bewildered.    

5:37 PM PT: Update:  The writing of this diary and reading and following comments and positive acceptance of my story have left me emotionally drained.  I am taking a few hours to breathe and will come back and respond soon.  I am grateful that my first diary has struck a chord within the Kos community, thank you for putting it on the recommended list.  I am humbled.

Originally posted to Mollywog on Sun Feb 17, 2013 at 12:06 PM PST.

Also republished by Police Accountability Group.

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