Imagine my nightmare of being a Republican today. I am the all knowing truth seeker. My knowledge and understanding of the world and conventional wisdom is infallible. My views should not be questioned.
To my dismay, my views, knowledge and entitlement of power is currently being assaulted by the heathen ingrates called Democrats. The shame, the outrage. They even elected this non- American, secretly gay, communist, fascist President....Twice.
Worst of of all, are the RINO's including Chuck Hagel, who will even dare to work with the other side. Let's primary any RINO with better candidates. There is no room for moderation in Republican worldview.
Let's make it clear, we know, the Democratic gains of the last elections are aberrations, not to be repeated. Yes, the reelection of Barrack Obama happened. But, it gave the unwashed a reason to support and have faith in the election process- even though it will be impossible for them to win in the future.
In this future, my billionaire contributors will get smarter in they way they spend their millions. We will rig the vote to limit all those not deserving of voting the chance.
This, along with our gerrymandering, will keep the our legislatures and Congress-true Republican. We will have sophisticated voter id programs that will know who is voting for who, even BEFORE the voter knows their own view. We have secret plans I cannot even detail right now.
If we do not get our way- we will impose our victim hood upon the country. Let freedom ring!
I would like to make particular mention of those terrible Democrats in the Minnesota Legislature. After losing our beloved Senate and House to those unscrupulous DFL dealers of no hope and taking change, the Democrats in Minnesota would surely make a deal with the devil if it the deal could become a law. They love making deals. This is their modis operandi. See, if you offer a Dem 2 shiny beads, they will give you everything they have and more, just to say they made a deal.
So, how dare the Minnesota House Democrats limit the minority's ability to offer amendments on the floor within 24 hours of floor consideration. They are trying to quash the minority's ability to filibuster the Minnesota House by offering unlimited amendments. The more amendments we offer, germane or not, the better we can limit the Democratic bills by slowing down the process. Again, how dare they silence the minority.
For instance, we were going to offer 80 Amendments on the Health Care Exchange bill.
Now that they made us really mad. Now we will take a non controversial bill and offer 160 amendments, including switching the words "person", for "individual", and switching the term "multiple" for "several".
How dare the Democrats impose their tyranny on the minority. We know full well the Democrats lied and used the corrupt unions to steal the elections. We also know, because we believe, the Democrats stole their majorities by employing illegal aliens, felons, and old people with no id's to vote. What scum.
So you evil Democrats, you have done it. You have riled me up. I will now pout and spout and blow your house down........... Don't call me petty or craven, just call me
maybe... if you have money for our next campaign.
Because the Dems hurt my feelings, I am going to make them pay.