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Last night, Stephen Colbert had some fun with the media over their whining about not getting access to see Obama play golf with Tiger Woods.

Folks, we all know that the Obama presidency is one of the most secretive in history.  There has not been an administration this private since the secret presidency of Rocky T. Pendergrass,

who made his name by invading Terrebitihia.  Don't believe me?  Look it up in the history books.  You won't find it.

Well, the Obama administration is doing it again.

WOLF BLITZER (2/18/2013): Did you see the pictures of President Obama playing golf with Tiger Woods this weekend?  Neither did we.

BRIAN TODD (2/18/2013): The media covering the President was shut out.  The press corps complained.

BILL HEMMER (2/19/2013): Fox News's Ed Henry, speaking in his role as the White House Correspondents Association President, said, "It's not about golf — it's about transparency and access in a broader sense."

RON CHRISTIE (2/18/2013): The President should have, in all fairness, due to transparency, released some photographs of him either teeing off with Tiger, or perhaps when they finished. ... The American people deserve to see what the President of the United States is doing.

Absolutely.  This is about transparency.  It's about a free press holding our leader accountable.  I mean, it's one thing to keep us in the dark about a fleet of flying robo-assassins.  But a round of golf on your day off?  Where's the judicial oversight?  Oh, I suppose White House lawyers have drawn up some convoluted legal justification for using a 5-wood on a par 3!

Folks, there are a lot of holes in this story — specifically, 18 of them.  but I believe America deserves to know!  Who drove the cart?  Who rode shotgun?  Did the President hit from the ladies' tee?  Did he replace his divits?  Or did he send Susan Rice to cover them up?  (audience groans)  But folks... oh yeah, you're just as upset as I am, I can tell.

It's bad, but folks, Water Hazard-gate — trademarked — is just the tip of the secret-berg — not gonna trademark that one.  This whole episode makes me realize just how little we know about what the President is doing every moment of the day.

'Cause I have it on good authority that multiple times a day, he locks himself alone inside a small tiled room.

Evidently, sometimes he enters with great urgency, only to emerge later with a look of serenity.  What does he do in there?  All we know is that by the time he leaves, the Sudoku is finished.

Oh, and I know, I know, his apologists say it's all innocent.  But folks, this does not pass the smell test.  (audience groans)  Again, I'm angry as well!

Mr. President, open that door to the press corps!  (audience cheers)

Otherwise, I can only assume you are so arrogantly anti-democratic, that you're in there sitting on some sort of throne.  We'll be right back.

Video below the fold.

Both Stephen and Jon also covered how Russians driving on the road didn't seem to be phased by that meteor, probably because they witness so much crazy shit while driving every day.
And with the recovery of the Dow Jones, Stephen brought back another segment of Colbert Platinum.
Jon also looked at the news about horse meat in Britain's burgers.
Al Madrigal looked at how the Tea Party in Florida is fighting for the right to... ride a manatee.
Stephen talked with Slate editor Emily Bazelon, and Jon talked with actress Alison Brie.

Originally posted to BruinKid on Wed Feb 20, 2013 at 05:25 AM PST.

Also republished by Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

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