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If you don't know about Despair.com, you're really missing out on a comical point of view on the silliness of corporate motivational efforts (and they have some cool posters, too).

Despair.com decided to do a riff on the sequester at ThePessimist.com, and their take is both hilarious and insightful.  (I'm trying to figure out if Hunter is writing for them.)

Take a moment to read the entire thing--if you can't right now, I've put a few samples below the fold.

So what is this sequester thing, anyway?

The sequester refers to a series of sweeping federal budget cuts that will automatically go into effect on March 1. It’s taking place because the government is — to use the technical economic term — “broke-ass.” This also explains why the credit agency Standard & Poor’s recently downgraded the USA’s credit rating from “AA+” to “scrub (also known as a buster).”

So how did we end up in this position?

We elected a bunch of idiots. That’s the short answer. The long answer: the American Taxpayer Relief Act of 2012 provided for automatic budget cuts to happen on March 1, in order to give the government more time to come up with a compromise on the budget. The sequester was meant to be something so horrible and destructive, that the government would have no choice but to come up with a better plan in the weeks following.

That happened, right?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! No. Congress and the White House couldn’t agree on budget cuts, which means the automatic ones will happen on March 1. This development came as a shock to many political observers, who noted that this is the first time in history the American government was unable to successfully address a problem.

How will these budget cuts affect me?

God, it’s always about you, isn’t it? Here’s our impression of you: [in obnoxious high-pitched voice] “Me me me me me me me me me!” It’s getting really tiresome.

Sorry, I just –

No, we’re just screwing with you. The sequester will cut a great deal of money from countless government programs. (I mean, they’re not, like, literally countless. We’re just too lazy to count them.) If you’re unemployed, for example, your benefits will likely be cut.

Well, luckily, I have a job.

Yeah. Just wait a couple weeks.

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