Of course you need to be polite and professional and courteous and sincere. You’re asking these people for $50k or more plus benefits. You need to communicate your knowledge and ability. You need to engage each person on the panel. You need to connect. You need them to visualize you working there with them and feel comfortable with the idea. You need to let the best you have shine through. You also have to want to work there and be enthusiastic about it in a measured way. You need to convince them that you’ll fit in. You can’t say anything that’s in any way negative.
You can’t let them see the frustration or the discouragement or the hopelessness or the disgust. You can’t let them see how f’n sick you are of going through these motions over and over for years. You can’t tell them your unemployment is running out. You can’t tell them you’re ready to throw in the towel on ever having a career in IT and how much that sucks because you’ve proven consistently that you’re good at it and that you’re dependable and that you’ll never hesitate to go the extra mile. You can’t tell them about the crappy deal you got at the last place before they kicked you to the curb. You can’t let on that you think they’re really tight assed or conservative or incompetent. You certainly can’t let on that you think there’s about a zero chance they’re going to hire you.
You need to go in and compete as if you’ve got a real chance to get it and show them why they should hire you. You have to be hopeful and confident and optimistic and give it your best shot. That’s not an easy game to play, even once you figure it out. You sincerely feel all those things, maybe quite strongly, and showing some while hiding others isn’t easy. Having a little too much of an edge could come across as hostility or aggression. You need to walk a fine line and just seem like you’re being yourself. (If you wear your heart on your sleeve like me, it’s a real challenge and it requires deliberate effort) If you can do it you can probably get by in almost any situation.
I should mention that I think this is probably the best shot I’ve ever had. I interviewed there recently for a different position, and this one is a better fit. The manager remembered me (fondly, it seemed) and there was (in my experience with interviewing) an unusual degree of familiarity on his part. He even gave me positive feedback which I’ve simply never seen before. He seems to like me. It’s also a good fit for me in that it’s a more easy going kind of place, and more of an ability and achievement oriented operation. I really do feel the interview went well. I was the first one they interviewed and I like to think I set the bar high. But in the time leading up to it I was giving time to the negative feelings I have about the whole job search process and how frustrating and degrading and hateful it all is (and resolved to write about it). It’s really a yin/yang kind of thing I guess…