Therefore, without further ado ...Sam? C'mere, boy! All right now, get your paws up on the keyboard. a-s-d-f ... there you go! I'll step aside now and let the Airedale talk. Take it away, Sammy! Tell the good folks of koslandia about Karen and what's got her feeling so blue.
ow--where do I even begin to tell it? Fineena has been blue ever since the Grumpy-Faced Man who owns our house threatened to kick us out if he doesn't get all of his green dollars by before
afternoon time today. He's what they call a Lord of the Land. I don't know why he is
such a Grumpy Face, though, because Fineena is such a beautiful person. He should smile when he sees her, like everyone else does, not frown. For she is lovely, inside and out.
Just her nose alone--my Dog, it's a nose to attract a thousand licks. But don't take my word for it; see for yourself. Here's a picture I took of her just the other day, out in the field where we like to play. Isn't she resplendent in green? I've always thought so, but who am I? Just a handsome Airedale, that's all.
I gave her the brogues for Christmas. She loves to take me on long, super-long, endlessly long walks in those shoes.
The trouble we have encountered is that the Grumpy-Faced Man has an obsession--what intellectuals call an idee fixe
--on a kind of green you hoomin beans like
Red & Black Handmade Crochet Wrap - Breathtaking
only to have put onto your dollars of paper. And Fineena is sad mainly because of this
, because the obsessed man of the Grumpy Face will kick our butts out from our home like so many footballs over the fuselage if we do not find a way, instamediately! to give him more of the green papers he craves. How much des papiers du vert
must he have in order to be sated? I will tell you, it is $400 now and $400 more one second later. Oh, once upon a time he would say it is good enough if Fineena can make it into halves, and no stressing about it so much ... but now his gratification must
--upon the moment!--be satisfied entire. He does not wait for the Queen of Crochet to hook the yarn into another artwork like this
, no way. But look
at this wondrous item of apparel that she has made with her own inspired hands! Who, I ask you--what manner of oaf?--would upturn his proboscis at this? I will tell you, the oaf that is the Grumpy-Faced Man.
Of course I, a handsome Airedale, do not require any special adornments to
Turquoise, Teal, Purple & Plum Diagonal Bias Striped Handmade Crochet Scarf - Stunning!
spice up my profile--but I am so proud
of my Fineena , that she can make herself and other hoomins look so much more appealing, wearing stunning wraps such as these (many of which, you'll be pleased to note, are on sale for 40% off in her etsy store
Now, let me pause for a moment (ha! I said paws! Sorry, just a little humorousness on the side for the canines in the crowd; oh shut-up) and say that if you are, in fact,
a dog like me and do not wear the raiment of man--or if you are a man or woman who has somehow managed to spice up the profile of your hairless self without the flattering interventions of crochet--never fear, there is good news for you just as you are situated. For instead of buying, you can simply give to us--by means of the PayPal
, vis-a-vis Fineena's email address (PALSKaren@aol.com
)--which we confess we really want you to do, because quite frankly we need the GFM to go elsewhere and get away from us, and only the green paper of which we are at the present time bereft, will make manifest our wish of his elsewhere going ASAP. May I tell you, may I tell you
what he does to Fineena's blood pressure when he wants his money and gets all unseemly under the jowls? He sits outside of our household in his car and makes blasts of the horn until she appears on the porch with the dollars. This kind of obstreperous noise and disruption causes me
to go barking mad, of course, and poor Fineena, she is become pale and faint. It is not a fun commotion to be a signatory of, I will tell you. And it is now that I begin to worry so much about this hoomin of mine.
Because there is more. The lighting company will need some of the green dollars sooner than you can say Thomas Edison, and the outfit that makes the water come
into the house will too. So this, if my addition is correct (4 + 4 = 8 + 7 + ... um ... five toes ... wait!) brings us to a total of $1,100
that we will need in order to have a home without a Grumpy-Faced Man blasting with the horn out on the street and inside with the lights and the water for bowls and bathtubs. I personally prefer the former, but that's just me, a handsome Airedale.
I want so much for Fineena to smile again. She's so depressed just now it breaks my heart to see it. If you can help us, whether by buying something beautiful for yourself at her etsy.com store, or by donating a bit o' cash (PALSKaren@aol.com), you'll have this handsome Airedale's indefatigable admiration ... erm, indefatigably, and my slurpy, kissy thanks, too! Yarf!