Presented without comment, except the description from the poster:
"I was a staff writer on the Onion's show "SportsDome" which aired on Comedy Central in 2011. This is one of the stories we did--full credit to David Iscoe (twitter.com/realhumanbeing) for the idea and script. It could have been produced by the CNN team covering the Steubenville rape verdict."
In related news, The GOP Rape Advisory Chart (now featuring Volume 5!) now has its own domain name for easier sharing.
Update: h/t to Clem Yeobright in the comments, who noted that James Fallows of The Atlantic linked to the same Onion parody yesterday.
For comparison, here's the actual CNN coverage of the verdict: