After careful consideration the Committee has awarded the Absolute Tool of the Week Award to... REPRESENTATIVE STEVE STOCKMAN of TEXAS!
Congratulations, Congressman. It takes a pretty big tool to nab the big one, and your tweet Thursday proved you're that big a tool.
Rep. Stockman couldn't be here today as he had to attend a fundraiser in the oil patch, also known as his district, so we'll just have the orchestra play him off.
Thank you! (Play him off, guys).
(Direct link to video is here)