Last night, Jon Stewart looked at this sudden shift in the opinions of so many Americans on the issue of gay marriage.
HARI SREENIVASAN, PBS (3/15/2013): Gay marriage has picked up a prominent new supporter, Senator Rob Portman of Ohio. It makes him the only Republican in the U.S. Senate to take that position.
Bravo, Rob Portman. (audience cheers) I assume Senator Portman thought long and hard about this, and finally realized that purely on the principle of the issue, he needs to stand up for fairness and equality.
HARI SREENIVASAN, PBS (3/15/2013): Portman explained his change of heart in the Columbus Dispatch. He said it began two years ago, when his college-aged son told his family that he is gay.
OK, that would do it too. "You know, I never realized a human being could actually really be gay, until my wife and I accidentally made one."
Of course, not all of Portman's fellow Republicans are so easily swayed.
CAROL COSTELLO (3/22/2013): Senator Saxby Chambliss is reaffirming his opposition to same-sex marriage. ... The Georgia Republican said, "I am not gay. So I am not going to marry one."
(shocked audience laughter)
You know, that's interesting. I didn't realize you were only allowed to marry what you are. I wish Saxby Chambliss a lot of luck in finding a mate. May I suggest A-Date?
America's premiere online dating service for arseholes.
....
SEN. MARCO RUBIO, R-FL (3/15/2013): (licks lips) Just because I believe that states should have the right to define marriage in the traditional way, does not make me a bigot. (licks lips) Just because.... (CPAC audience applause)
(licks lips) OK, first of all, (licks lips) is there ever a time when this guy doesn't appear to be desperately thirsty? I feel like he must have a pre-speech ritual where he licks prosciutto.
But second of all, he's got a point. Believing that the definition of marriage should be left to the states doesn't make you a bigot. But believing that those states should define that to be traditional marriage — that does actually make you a bigot.
....
DR. BEN CARSON (3/26/2013): Marriage is between a man and a woman. ... No group, be they gays, be they NAMBLA, be they people who believe in bestiality, it doesn't matter what they are....
Yeah, let me just stop you right there. It's not, "You know, whether you're having sex with another consenting adult, a horse, or a donut, it's all the same."
Actually, that's not fair. As Dr. Carson explained, his problem isn't with gay people.
DR. BEN CARSON (3/26/2013): It's not something that's against gays, it's against anybody who wants to come along and change the fundamental definitions of pillars of society.
Oh, you think we shouldn't mess with anything that's considered a fundamental pillar of society. Ah! Idea for an editorial cartoon! All right, here we go. I'm gonna do this over here.
Ah, black neurosurgeon who does proudly stand in front of a medical school. The road to that school is littered with broken pillar parts labeled "SLAVERY", "SEGREGATION", and "JIM CROW". And there's a gay sad-looking couple standing nearby, and an intact pillar that says "TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE", and they've got a little thought bubble that's coming out that says, "Little help?"
Video and full transcript below the fold.
Now you've probably heard this week the Supreme Court is hearing two landmark cases about gay marriage. We're going to have big coverage on it tomorrow, but suffice to say, the discussion has taken place, the level of discourse we've come to expect from our nation's highest court.
SAMUEL ALITO (3/27/2013): You want us to step in and render a decision based on an assessment of the effects of this institution which is newer than cell phones or the Internet?
Yes, everyone knows love is a new invention. I think it goes microwaves, then cell phones, then love, then Go-Gurt.
The Court's decision will come at a time when public opinion is rapidly swinging in favor of gay marriage. In fact, lately there's been an avalanche of good news for supporters.
3/26/2013:
KATE BOLDUAN: Senator Claire McCaskill (D) of Missouri announced her support for same-sex marriage.
LUKE RUSSERT: ... Kay Hagan (D-NC), moving in this direction.
S.E. CUPP: ... Senator Jon Tester (D-MT) ...
CHRIS JANSING: Just in the last 24 hours, three more Senators have voiced their support for same-sex marriage — Mark Warner (D-VA), Jay Rockefeller (D-WV), and Senator Mark Begich (D-AK).
Wow, all these U.S. Senators supporting gay marriage. It has all the makings of a historic shift in public opinion, and the most boring gay pride parade float ever.
What seems to have triggered this wave of mind-changing was one brave Senator's announcement last week.
HARI SREENIVASAN, PBS (3/15/2013): Gay marriage has picked up a prominent new supporter, Senator Rob Portman of Ohio. It makes him the only Republican in the U.S. Senate to take that position.
Bravo, Rob Portman. (audience cheers) I assume Senator Portman thought long and hard about this, and finally realized that purely on the principle of the issue, he needs to stand up for fairness and equality.
HARI SREENIVASAN, PBS (3/15/2013): Portman explained his change of heart in the Columbus Dispatch. He said it began two years ago, when his college-aged son told his family that he is gay.
OK, that would do it too. "You know, I never realized a human being could actually really be gay, until my wife and I accidentally made one."
Of course, not all of Portman's fellow Republicans are so easily swayed.
CAROL COSTELLO (3/22/2013): Senator Saxby Chambliss is reaffirming his opposition to same-sex marriage. ... The Georgia Republican said, "I am not gay. So I am not going to marry one."
(shocked audience laughter)
You know, that's interesting. I didn't realize you were only allowed to marry what you are. I wish Saxby Chambliss a lot of luck in finding a mate. May I suggest A-Date?
America's premiere online dating service for arseholes.
But that wasn't even the most shocking pronouncement in the wake of Portman's big news. This was.
DIANE SAWYER (3/18/2013): And today, another big voice endorsed gay marriage, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
Hillary Clinton? Didn't she do that 20 years ago? Was there anything else we just assumed you're in favor of that you're still mulling over? Like, "Hillary Clinton today announced she's changed her mind, Albanians should be allowed to drive."
I gotta say, I get that Saxby Chambliss, an old straight white dude, may not get what it's like to be excluded from something. But I'm guessing Hillary Clinton has faced her share of discrimination in this world. How did it take her so long to come around on this? And while we're at it, how's this guy still not there?
SEN. MARCO RUBIO, R-FL (3/15/2013): (licks lips) Just because I believe that states should have the right to define marriage in the traditional way, does not make me a bigot. (licks lips) Just because.... (CPAC audience applause)
(licks lips) OK, first of all, (licks lips) is there ever a time when this guy doesn't appear to be desperately thirsty? I feel like he must have a pre-speech ritual where he licks prosciutto.
But second of all, he's got a point. Believing that the definition of marriage should be left to the states doesn't make you a bigot. But believing that those states should define that to be traditional marriage — that does actually make you a bigot.
But, for perhaps the ultimate in cognitive dissonance, let's turn to the Republican Party's new rising star, Dr. Ben Carson.
DR. BEN CARSON (3/26/2013): Marriage is between a man and a woman. ... No group, be they gays, be they NAMBLA, be they people who believe in bestiality, it doesn't matter what they are....
Yeah, let me just stop you right there. It's not, "You know, whether you're having sex with another consenting adult, a horse, or a donut, it's all the same."
Actually, that's not fair. As Dr. Carson explained, his problem isn't with gay people.
DR. BEN CARSON (3/26/2013): It's not something that's against gays, it's against anybody who wants to come along and change the fundamental definitions of pillars of society.
Oh, you think we shouldn't mess with anything that's considered a fundamental pillar of society. Ah! Idea for an editorial cartoon! All right, here we go. I'm gonna do this over here.
Ah, black neurosurgeon who does proudly stand in front of a medical school. The road to that school is littered with broken pillar parts labeled "SLAVERY", "SEGREGATION", and "JIM CROW". And there's a gay sad-looking couple standing nearby, and an intact pillar that says "TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE", and they've got a little thought bubble that's coming out that says, "Little help?" And here, let me show you...
Ah, that's just a... I drew a... it's, um... anyway, that's what I did for the editorial cartoon, this is just a penis cannon shooting an airplane, because it's all I really know how to draw. We'll be right back. Pew! Pew! Pew!
Jon also had a scathing
segment blasting the Obama administration for failing to get its act together in modernizing the online records for veterans to get rid of the
massive backlog at the VA.
Meanwhile, Stephen noted how Bill O'Reilly had
flip-flopped on his own position on gay marriage, even as he
attacked others for doing so.
Stephen then looked at the
science news about Facebook's "Like" button revealing much more than you'd think about yourself, and how smart people were correlated with liking...
The Colbert Report on Facebook! :-)
Stephen then
mocked the stupid Tennessee legislators who thought a mop sink was a sign of creeping Sharia law.
Jon talked with actress
Eva Mendes, and Stephen talked with pig farmer
Carl Edgar Blake.
BTW, I think this graphic from Jed's diary should go viral.