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Mr. Dan:  Dogboy!  Dogboy!

Dogboy:  Yes, Mr. Dan!

Mr. Dan:  Did you hear about the Supreme Court?  They're poised to stop gay marriage once and for all!

Dogboy:  Oh!  You mean and just make it regular ol' marriage?  I heard!

Mr. Dan:  No!  They've got the chance to make it all go away!

Dogboy:  Make what go away?

Mr. Dan:  Marriage by Lesbimians and the gayly-inclined.

Dogboy:  Um, I don't think that's really what they--

Mr. Dan:  Of course it is!  The Court's turned conservative and conservative means traditional values!

Dogboy:  Like long-term commitment, vows, family, stability and love!  No matter who--

Mr. Dan:  Bbbbrrrr, that's conservative, not gay!

Dogboy:  But that's what they want!

Mr. Dan:  No!  Gays dance all night long and are promiscuous!

Dogboy:  Um, except for the ones who want to settle down with the one they love for the rest of their lives?

Mr. Dan:  Bbbbrrrr, No!  That sort of traditional marriage threatens traditional marriage!

Dogboy:  Tradition threatens tradition?

Mr. Dan:  Stop it, Dogboy!  It's about conservative values.  Republican values!

Dogboy:  I know, like Rob Portman, the latest Republican to support gay marriage!

Mr. Dan:  [thunk]  Oop, No!  That's just cause his son is gay!

Dogboy:  Colin Powell supports gay marriage!

Mr. Dan:  [thunk]  Urp, he's hardly Republican.  Plus, he's, he's . . .

Dogboy:  Retired?

Mr. Dan:  Yyyeah . . .

Dogboy:  Oh!  Laura Bush!  She's for gay marriage!

Mr. Dan:  [thunk]  Wha-- she's a first llllady.  I'm talking about real red-blooded Republicans!

Dogboy:  Like Dick Cheney!

Mr. Dan:  [thunk]  Erp, NO!  He's great, but he's for gay marriage cause his daughter's gay.  C'mon, Dogboy!

Dogboy:  OH!  Paul Wolfowitz!

Mr. Dan:  [thunk]  Urr, must be a RINO, doesn't count!


Mr. Dan:  [thunk]  Argh-- an anomaly, he's Hollywood--

Dogboy:  Oh!  OH!  The two-hundred-and-eight state Republican lawmakers who voted to legalize same-sex marriage in thirteen states?

Mr. Dan:  [thunk crash bang]  Aaaaigh!  Dogb--

Dogboy:  Whoo!  I hope your big tent has an aid station, Mr. Dan.  Mr. Dan?

Mr. Dan:  Grrrugh, Dogbo---

Dogboy:  Love hurts, huh, Mr. Dan.  Mr. Dan?

Mr. Dan:  Ssstop . . . cruel . . . Dogboyuhnn . . .

Originally posted to Comics on Fri Mar 29, 2013 at 06:50 AM PDT.

Also republished by Daily Kos.

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