Well, I've known for a long time now that I'd be eventually posting some bad news. As many of you know, my fiancee is terminally ill, with liver failure caused by metastatic breast cancer. The nearly year and a half we've had together has been wonderful, and my love for her will far outlast her upcoming death.
Upcoming. Because, you see, this is a diary about bad news related to this situation. But it's not about her death.
Several days ago, she signed documents granting her mother power of attorney.
Her parents have informed me today that effective immediately, they are enforcing their power of attorney to place restrictions on my visitation rights. I may see her for no more than 10 minutes per day, and am barred from physical contact. If I fail to follow these restrictions, I will be indefinitely barred, and they will seek legal action against me. Ostensibly, her mother claims these restrictions are necessary because the stress of my presence worsens the symptoms of her hepatic encephalopathy.
The reality, of course, is that she simply is suffering from the progressive effects of an invariably fatal condition. Her symptoms are worsening because the encephalopathy has deepened (in my inexpert opinions, she is clearly now in Grade III), and will continue to do so.
There are several grounds on which I might challenge the validity of the power of attorney. But doing so would come at great expense without certainty of success, and very likely would be rendered moot by her death before any conclusion was reached at law. Her time left is measured in days, not weeks. And so it is very likely at this point that I will not see be able to see my fiancee again. I believe that the restrictions her mother has placed upon my visits would make them more harmful to her than my absence.
Regardless, I will always love her.
My opinions of her mother are very different, but are, I think, equally enduring.