Skip to main content

Some of you may know me as a mild-mannered biologist who has been known to post about evolutionary topics from time to time.  Over the last few years I have discovered that what I have believed my entire life is a facade and I can stand the deception no more.  Be prepared, the horror that awaits below the fold may be too much for our primitive nervous systems.  I can feel mine breaking beneath the strain of the knowledge I have uncovered.  Follow beyond the seething mass of protoplasm that only appears orange to our limited vision and discover the truth if you dare.

In addition to my scientific interests I have long had a fascination with the works of the Bard of Providence, Howard Phillips Lovecraft.  Long have I suspected that something more than mere imagination underlies the noisesome and extradimensional nature of Lovecraft's prose.

Whilst searching the numerous antiquarian bookstores that populate downtown Tallahassee I came across a copy of an issue of Weird Tales from the 1920s.  Excitedly I made my purchase from the vaguely ichthyomorphic shopkeeper and returned home.

It wasn't until later, when I carefully opened the moldering pulp and gingerly prised apart its noxious pages that I discovered something more.  Inside was a slip of paper of even more ancient origin with extensive handwritten notes in a hauntingly familiar hand.  I provide the crucial passages below.

It is no use.  I can delay no longer.  All my attempts at prevarication are at an end.  The foul reach of those that would use me is extensive indeed.  Mr. Wallace, who has been so kind as to consult with me in the past, now appears to have been exposed to the same terrible fate that fell upon me in that remote cyclopean Andean valley.   My mind recoils at the memory of  those towering cliffs, covered with carvings, wrought by no human hand.  Written in a language unknown to man but suggesting such terrible things.  And then the rocks moved  as if in an earthquake.  But no earthquake was recorded...  And then I saw...

No.  I cannot put the words down.  The implications are unspeakable.  And to think that for more than two long decades I have done their bidding.  I have forged data of a foul lie of species transmutation.  For years I have resisted publication but I can do so no more.

Fearing the worst I rushed to library and compared the handwriting to material in our history of science collection.  As I dreaded, the unsigned note matched the handwriting of none other than Charles Darwin himself!

Since that day I have searched the internet and elsewhere for further confirmation of my terrible suspicions.  No more than hints have been found but those hints that suggest influences on human history and even prehistory that are alien and perhaps even extradimensional.  Careful perusal of Darwin's photographs from late in life hint at a cephalopodic influence beneath his luxuriant beard.  This aroused my suspicions about the frequency of facial hair amongst evolutionary biologists (I am clean shaven).  I have also discovered notes from noted evolutionist R.A. Fisher (also bearded) in which subtle mathematical errors are hidden.  Working through the math to discover the truth has driven me to the point of madness.  The corrected equations hint at something I dare not put on paper.

I now I fear I have searched too widely.  I have seen numerous strangers walking the streets of our quiet neighborhood.  Strangers with visages and manners that I can only describe as unquiet and indicative of unspeakable miscegenation with certain ancient forms of life.  A stench, as if from the depths of the sea, sometimes wafts up from the deceptively quiet lake surface.

So I can profit no longer from the lie I teach my students.  Before I face the fate that inevitably awaits me I must send out this message.  Evolution is a lie to hide us from a much more terrible truth.

But now the noxious odor is back, stronger than before.  Frogs of a terrible kind, undocumented in the Daily Bucket, call with frequencies no human was ever meant to hear.  Something is on the deck that is not a raccoon....

Those eyes...  By the far flung moons of Saturn such creatures cannot exist...

Editors note - this draft of a DKOS diary was found in matching mole's account.  The laptop was undamaged by had a trace of a curious slime.  We are publishing it in his honor.

Updated Editorial Note - The text has been mysteriously altered.

Originally posted to Backyard Science on Mon Apr 01, 2013 at 10:19 AM PDT.

Also republished by J Town, Readers and Book Lovers, and Community Spotlight.

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site