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So, Justin Bieber has a monkey now?

I'm not worried, I can't think of any other pop stars whose odd behavior began by getting a pet monkey.

Picturing the day 30 years from now when some douche bag in a club is explaining how he used to be the eTrade baby in an effort to get laid.

"Give us your tired and poor...so we can keep them that way."

-America

Mel Gibson says he’s wants to give Lindsay Lohan career guidance; Yes, and maybe Wesley Snipes can help her file taxes.

Half my life has been spent finding chemicals to fuck with my brain.   My brain is an asshole.

You know you've got a problem when every letter of the alphabet triggers a porn website in your address bar.

So rude when people call me a son of a bitch. Just tell my mom she's a bitch and leave me out of it.

Drinking is like pouring smiles on your brain

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