So Col Catlady flipped out on me for challenging the word of teh FOX this morning and threatened to throw me out. They were both screaming at me and he was shaking with anger - debating with himself if he could hit me and whether or not I would fight back. This situation is no longer a safe environment, and I need to go home.
More under the dooblydoo.
I definitely feel the medication is helping - but I can get that from my regular doctor in Astoria, and there is some psychological support available as well - I'm not getting therapy here, just pills. This is not to say the pills are bad - I was calm and fine, they were the ones freaking out this morning. I didn't have a meltdown, nor do I feel the need to have one now, after the blow up. This is a definite improvement.
But this has gone on long enough. I will not get better under threats, in filth or waiting for SSDI to come through in a state already overburdened and anti poor people. My parents believe it is normal to hear voices - therefore I am not crazy or unwell - because that would mean they are too. I was unaware of that when I moved in. Nigel is also suffering here as he is constantly being reinfected with worms from my Dad's cats - he didn't have worms or fleas in my care on the boat. I have flea treatment for him and will deworm him again before we leave.
I have recovered to the extent I can go outside without fear of getting shot, I have been creative and made beads to sell in my soon to be open etsy shop to cover my expenses once I get home - and I have clay and the means to make more once I arrive. My goal is to be able to cover my own monthly expenses once I return home to my boat with sales until my SSDI claim is worked out or I am functional enough to get a job. I have filed my Oregon state return and will be receiving funds back - and I have also asked Senator Jeff Merkley's office to help me with my SSDI claim. (I filed Federal too, but I have student loans in arrears, I don't get Federal returns or I could just use that to go home on.)
I have approximately $120 worth of beads made and ready to sell now, but I can't post pictures until tomorrow (Monday) morning at the earliest - my camera cord got left behind and the only card reader is on Col Catlady's computer - and he is PISSED at me right now. He goes to bed early, so I can transfer them once he goes to sleep tonight and upload them in the morning - opening my etsy shop and making them available through the KOS catalog as well.
What I need is money to get back to Astoria.
My car is running, licensed and insured. The boat is licensed and insured, the liveaboard fees have been paid so I can legally return and live on my boat as before. It needs a good clean out I'm sure, but I can handle that when I get home. I have SNAP to cover food - I can pack up things for the road trip and should have enough left over to manage for the month in Astoria. I can start with a full tank of gas and have approximately $50 in hand for the second tank - it's after that I need help.
It takes me about 3 days to drive across country - I use a CPAP machine and must stop overnight, I can't run it in the car. I stopped at Motel 6 on the way here - they are pet friendly and under $50 a night. It took about $650 in gas to cross the country in my car - so I need about $800 - $900 total to get home safely.
I hate to have to ask again for help - but this is not a good place and it's time to go home. Slip fees are not due until June - so I have time to make sales, follow up on my SSDI claim and look for work of some kind to manage those expenses, and I am confidant that I can make it work.
I need to be back in my own home, with my community and friends around me, able to see my future, not my past. My greatest fear is to be trapped here, unable to return home and losing my independence. I cannot allow that to happen and I am asking you to help me once more.
I have a PayPal debit card. My account email is mortifyd at teh gemailz
CURRENT TOTAL IN IS $390. I will update the total as needed and will ask people to stop once I have reached my goal to go home. Thank you!