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I've always believed "that government is best, which governs least." The state should punish fraud, keep us secure, and get out of our way. It's why I vote for conservative candidates. That, and the fact that Barack Obama is the Beast arising from the sea foretold by the prophet John, who will persecute the faithful during the coming tribulation. It's just good common sense.


My liberal friends want the US Treasury to provide a social safety net - to care for the sick and the poor. This is well-meaning of course, but naïve. Federal programs punish work and contribute to a cycle of poverty. Plus, they give the president power to make everyone receive the mark of blasphemy so they can join him in the fiery pit at the end of days. Unintended consequences, people.


Markets are the most efficient and ultimately most humane way to distribute goods and services. They allow for freedom of choice and they maximize growth. Everything else is straight from the mouth of the False Prophet. And it's socialism.


Overregulation kills private industry, which depresses employment, and it shrinks the wealth of our country. This hurts everyone. Some people think the state is the only actor in the system that can guarantee you won't be harmed by the products you buy. President Obama seems to agree, but he also wants to use his office to seize the throne of Jerusalem and crown himself Messiah in a dreadful parody of our Lord. And that wouldn't be right. Companies have a powerful incentive to provide value, and they won't have you tortured and killed for being a Christian. Let them do their business! We'll all benefit.


I believe hard work and free enterprise made this country great. We shouldn't let the government interfere with that, especially since it wants to confiscate our guns and plunge us into a nightmare world of totalitarianism and despair, before the return of Jesus and the triumph of those who are washed in the Blood of the Lamb. These are the kind of sensible ordinary principles that founded America.


And you know I'm not the only one who thinks this way.


NOTE: Read They Don't Respect Second Amendment Rights At Fuddruckers. It will change everything.

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Comment Preferences

  •  You picked a bad week to be here Paul (0+ / 0-)

    or maybe there are enough people hating Obama right now that they might just come full circle and agree with you.

    I'm now curious to watch this play out.

    Красота спасет мир --F. Dostoevsky

    by Wisper on Wed Apr 10, 2013 at 08:49:32 AM PDT

    •  Admittedly... (0+ / 0-)

      I cant find the link between the religious and regulatory satire take back to the on-going Chained CPI fury.

      I would have expected a "entitlement programs only make people more dependent and bury them further in poverty" line.

      But, truth be told, I often times don't understand the snark and satire posts on this site so it's probably me.

      Красота спасет мир --F. Dostoevsky

      by Wisper on Wed Apr 10, 2013 at 08:52:15 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Is this satire (6+ / 0-)

    - if it is it is excellent.

  •  Nice! (6+ / 0-)

    Now do one for the neocon/libertarian axis.  That one's every bit as funny as the fiscal/theocon one above.

    •  That is totally true. (6+ / 0-)

      I am for reduced government and massive nation-building.

      •  I believe in drowning government in a bathtub. (5+ / 0-)

        Come to think of it, I believe in drowning just about everybody who isn't me in a bathtub.

        We're gonna need a lot of bathtubs.

      •  I am for (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        irishwitch

        reducing wage/productivity/intellect THEFT allowing all gains to go to the very very very few and for allowing humans to work in concert to nation build and for stopping the few thousand from sucking (stealing) up all efforts, of the hundreds of millions, for themselves.  

        Allowing the billionaire sociopaths (who confiscate virtually all labor efforts for themselves and who rise to power because of lack  of oversight and their ability to purchase all laws allowing for the convergence of all assets to be shoveled to them) who rise to the top because of their ability to manipulate, lie and steal w/o compunction is a mental illness. That the billionaires specialize in fomenting hate and divisiveness in order to control people is perfectly indicative of the points espoused in this 'satire' piece.
        All for one and all for one. That doesn't even work for primates, why would one think it works for homo sapiens? Likely because they either "got theirs' or they are bigots.

        What will you do when they come for you and there's no one to stand for you?

        Absolutely none of your arguments are valid. They are selfish/anti-social arguments of a survival of the fittest sociopath. Hope that this diary is satire so these points aren't directed toward the writer.

        "I freed a thousand slaves, I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves" Harriet Tubman

        by BrianParker14 on Wed Apr 10, 2013 at 09:22:50 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    •  Don't you remember the Cons (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Eyesbright, The Marti

      "Egypt is failing because Obama hasn't projected American leadership and purpose there, quack quack."

      And at the same time, they're deadset against Obama's leadership and purpose stateside.

      "with rights come responsibilities." Wrong. Responsibilities continue to exist even if you abdicate your rights.

      by happymisanthropy on Wed Apr 10, 2013 at 09:26:49 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Take notes, folks. (5+ / 0-)

    This is how you do satire.

  •  Extremely flawed logic. (3+ / 0-)

    I have a number of issues with conservative "logic".  Mostly, it is completely unrealistic, illogical, and rife with an unrealistic view of society and individuals.

    First off, conservative economic policies are horrible and ignorant and naive.  And I'm being nice here.  There is literally not one single conservative economic policy that has ever worked the way they claim it will/should.  All conservative economic policies help the rich get richer at the expense of everyone else.  All their economic ideals do nothing more than transfer wealth from the working/middle class to the wealthy elitists.

    I find it ironic that any conservative would ever argue that right wing politics would benefit anybody BUT the richest minority.  The very foundation of conseratism, its very creation, was intended to defend and protect the heirarchy from the uprising lower classes.

    Second, government is a necessary creation of a democracy.  Government exists to work on behalf of the people in areas that are deemed to be in the public good.   As such, this automatically means government needs to get involved in markets, health care, helping the poor, etc and these things are deemend to be in the public good.  The "commons' if you will.  These are things people value and want but can't do themselves and there is no profit incentive so private firms won't bother.  We wouldn't even have roads or parks or a minimum wage if governments weren't there using tax dollars to benefit the "commons".

    Third, this religious worship conservatives have in the "free market" is BS.  The free market is the "economic unicorn" as I call it because it has never in the history of human civilization existed.  EVER.  And yet conservatives believe absolutely in it and that it is the answer to all our problems.  May as well believe in the power of unicorns.

    Finally, much of what you say about markets no longer applies to our daily reality.  When businesses are allowed to buy each other, you inevitably end up in a position leading towards monopolization.  THroughout all of history, the less intervention to help/protect the average workers, the MORE you see people/workers being abused, exploited, controlled, etc.  Not freedom and choice.  Then money is the one and only goal of your "society" then those who have the money control those who don't.  That isn't freedom.  That is a move back to serfdoms where we all work ourselves to death to keep the landowners rich and happy.

    Which comes back to the heart and ultimate flaw of conservatism.  It always has been and always will be a political ideology aimed at defending and protecting the rich and their belief that they are better and more worthy than everyone else.  Ensuring that the rich maintain their power and control over the rest of us peasants.

    As the great George Carlin once said, "They call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it."

  •  Sounds like you may be an Objectivist. No? (0+ / 0-)

    Boehner Just Wants Wife To Listen, Not Come Up With Alternative Debt-Reduction Ideas

    by dov12348 on Wed Apr 10, 2013 at 09:19:15 AM PDT

  •  question: how do social programs punish work? (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    irishwitch

    Are you suggesting that I should have to work to eat?  I just finished a weekend in the ER and another day in the doctor's office getting my meds adjusted.  I cannot walk 100 feet without walking and my bp was 270/210 this weekend, even on 3 different bp meds.  

    I have lost 40% use of my left side due to atrophy and wastage and suffer from chronic pain and spend about $1000/month on meds.  Will you hire me?  If you will hire me and agree to work around my physical problems, I will be there next Monday.

    Otherwise, what suggestion do you have?  (and if you think I should have saved enough to retire on w/o public assistance, ever see what $1M in med bills will do to even the most robust 401K?

  •  It must be a real bitch trying to shampoo (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Paul Bibeau

    that sticky lamb blood out of your hair.

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