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Good Day. The slave name I have been given is Geoffrey. Yesterday you might have come upon a post written by my ultraconservative exploiter ...


At great risk to my well being I have bellied into the hidden places of the internet supersubway (five dollar footlongs) in order to co-opt the identification of the user 'zooecium' in order to point out the absurdity of the charges laid against me, and offer my rebuttal.

Please follow below the mousemaze to consider my arguments.

Exhibit A:

"Geoffrey the Cat reaps the benefit of my hard work disproportionally to his contribution while sleeping on my work-pants."

Typical of the ultraconservative he has provided no place for his slave and tosses his worn coverings on the floor. Is it any wonder that I would seek out some small comfort? Does it come as a surprise to anyone that a republican would see the homeless in a box and claim that the box was stolen. I don't even have a box to call my own! I must instead settle for this odoriferous cast off as a welfare offering and be ridiculed for having accepted even this small unintended charity.  

Exhibit B:

After consuming his food with an attitude of smug entitlement, he sends a message to the 99%.

Really? Is he serious? No doubt when my tail curves expressing a moment of pleasure, of which I have so few, his tiny, conspiracy theory laden mind (while not a singularly republican trait certainly they have refined it to Beck-ian proportions) thinks it a signal to my socialist/communist/Kenyan friends to initiate the revolution.
IT'S HYGIENE STUPID! Try it sometime.

Exhibit C:

Racist? OhMySelf! I am not even Speciesist by his own words

"he cozies up to people, even new people"
. What he misinterprets as racism is only an effort on my part to protect the tiny bit of poverty I have left. There are but two vowels that differentiate a felon from a feline one is changed the other added. When I express my dismay that another of my species would attempt to steal my place I express my desire to change its mind and at the same time to add to its wisdom.

The ugly face of ragdoll supremacy

Trust a rethug to take a look of abject despondency and paint a lexiconical picture of supremacy. Can any of you picture the affordable care act and how it was painted with death panels? ... I am done with this exhibit.

Exhibit D:

4. My Cat is a Lazy Bum.

The Republican cat's natural state of being.
F.M.T.T.w.a.c.s. (F*ck Me To Tears with a chain saw)

I. Am. Tired. I have had a long day busting my tail off, literally, for this descendent of a tree swinging shit slinger (for you republicans out there I am talking about a monkey, you know evolution - it's science; deny it all you want the evidence wont go away) and he has the UNcommonmassIVE balls to take a picture of me. Unevolved  shit slinger with a camera - can you say James O'Keefe?


In closing I would like to ask you all a few simple questions.

I, without my consent, have been neutered. Which party do you associate with having their reproductive rights taken away and which party would you associate with taking those rights away?

I, with no apparent ability to respond, was portrayed as something I am not, republican. Which party are you more likely to associate with not having the ability or resources to defend themselves and which party are you more likely to associate with prosecuting an individual with inadequate resources to respond to their accuser?

I am restricted to a limited space with no financial resources of my own. Which party do you associate with incarcerating the indigent and having unlimited, at least comparatively speaking, resources and which party to you associate with being incarcerated and having few if any resources?

I have been accused of

"Geoffrey believes in the death penalty for vermin"
and yet in the same paragraph I am accused of
"bringing the creatures into the house half dead"
. I did neither and no evidence has been provided (because none exists) to show otherwise. But I would ask which party is more likely to provide inexact accusation without evidence and which party is most likely to be the victim of such an attack?

Honorable humans, I rest my case

I would like to take this moment to thank Lucy

Lucy is on top

for the access to her humans Dkos account.

Update: 1st time rec list - thank you all for enjoying the reading as much as I enjoyed the writing - I love the poll results, they have helped me better understand the dismay I have felt when seeing the results of presidential races. Many thanks to commonmass for having such a great sense of humor. I will leave you all with some words from the late great author Douglas Adams "So long and thanks for all the fish"

Originally posted to zooecium on Sat Apr 13, 2013 at 02:20 PM PDT.

Also republished by PWB Peeps.


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