Originally posted at http://minneapolitanmademoiselle.blogspot.com/
I spent the second half of 2012 in Washington, DC, working at two great organizations, the Institute for Women's Policy Research and GovLoop. My time in DC was (mostly) interesting and fun; I did have one frightening experience that I've had time to reflect on that I'd like to share. I will admit that this post was a tough one to write, especially because the topic is one that we don't often talk about in an honest way. Here goes...
I did the majority of my grocery shopping in DC at the Safeway a few blocks from where I lived. I usually went at night, because it was less busy and more convenient.
One evening I went to the Safeway to pick up a few items. I grabbed a cart before entering the store, and started my journey through the many aisles. Somewhere near the tea aisle, I noticed two people having what appeared to be a rather one-sided conversation. The only thing I heard as I walked by them was the woman, who looked to be on the verge of tears, saying something like "...but my husband is black." Puzzled, I continued to make my way down the aisle.
My memory of that night is not perfect, but here's what I do remember...I remember the aforementioned man approaching me, and as he did, saying something like "here's another white girl..." He had one or both earphones in his ears, and spoke fairly loudly. He walked right up next to me and accused me of being a government informer (supposedly for some sort of white, conspiratorial government). I asked him to move out of the way, as he was between me and the items I was looking at on the shelf. He got louder and said that I must not like black people, as well as a few other things I don't quite remember. I told him that he was harassing me, and asked him to stop. He responded that he wasn't harassing me but confronting me, and my assumed racism. At this point I was pretty freaked out - the man was bigger than me and kept getting in my face - so I took my cart and walked quickly to another section of the store. The man threatened to kick me, and, according to witnesses, attempted to do so as I walked away from him. I approached a Safeway employee and asked for assistance in dealing with the harassment, but before either of us could do anything the man was chased out of the store by another customer.
I was pretty shaken up, and stopped briefly to talk with anther employee (store manager, I think) and the other woman who had been harassed on my way to the checkout lane. She was in tears, and I believe, had called the police shortly before the man had been chased out of the store. I said I was fine when asked, but was wary as I went to check out and put my groceries in the car (I was very glad that I had driven to the store that day instead of walking).
I believe the man who harassed me in the store had mental health issues, but it did not make what happened any less scary in the moment. Up to that point I had never been called out or stereotyped by anyone (at least not to my face) because of my race. It was shocking and humiliating, particularly for someone who has tried hard to work to understand and dismantle the unconscious racism and classism that I know exists in myself. I am not perfect, but I am trying to make the world a better place by confronting my own problematic beliefs, thoughts, and actions, and by talking about them with others.
It is not my intent to pretend that I know what it's like to be profiled, avoided, or treated in a negative way because of my race or class on a regular basis - I will never know what that feels like. I recognize that I have a certain amount of privilege as a middle class white person that others do not, and that this impacts how others think about and treat me. I do believe that this experience provided a tiny glimpse into what it's like to have someone judge and treat an individual a certain way because of the color of their skin. And it was scary, and uncomfortable, and I don't wish it on anyone.
This week, we once again publicly witnessed this type of thinking on a larger scale, in the wake of the Boston Marathon bombings. Some members of the public and media went crazy after the bombings, jumping to conclusions about the identity of those responsible (Muslim, Arab, person of color), claiming folks were suspects when they weren't and attacking innocent Muslims and sites associated with Islam, among other things. It was infuriating to watch it all happen, and somewhat ironic when the suspects were identified and did not fit the profile of the imaginary bomber.
I encourage folks to read this piece about white privilege and the Boston Marathon bombings, as it does a better job than I can describing how I feel about the whole thing.