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The profound fact you libruls never seem to understand, and that conservatives have figured out, is that the true measure of a thing's value is in how little it exists: The less you know about something, the more authority you should hold over it and the louder you should talk about it.  The smaller the conscience, the more self-righteous the person is entitled to be.  The smaller the government, the more liberteh and prosperiteh the people will have.  And, of course, the ultimate proof of this principle, God.  Well, prepare to be voucher-schooled on the most important aspect of all: How low taxes solve everything.

10.  End the tyranny of traffic laws.

Maintaining roads and stoplights can get expensive, so what's the point?  What right does gubmint have to tell me I can't drive on the sidewalk, in the opposite direction that other cars are driving, with swords and spinning blades sticking out of my front grille?  Through the magic of lower taxes, you can liberate communities to negotiate their own traffic on a daily basis, in the glorious free marketplace known as intersections.  Besides, anyone whose life actually matters will simply fly above the traffic in a helicopter.

9.  No voting irregularities.

When you can't afford election monitors, elections always go perfectly.  Democracy and low taxes go hand-in-hand, like marital fidelity and devout religion.

8.  Low crime.

The low-tax solution to crime is simple: Don't gather crime statistics.  If you don't record it, it didn't happen.  All that paperwork costs taxpayers money that could be better spent building football stadiums.  Besides, math has a liberal bias.

7.  Pryvit edumacation is rilly gud.

Ya, ritch pryvit skools git all the prayz, but vowcher skools ar gud to.  I went to a vowcher skool, and I no just as much abowt the grateness of the skool's sponsors, McDonald's and Marlboro cigarettes, as anyone who went to a...wut's the word for a skool that's not pryvit?  They never tot us that.

6.  Teaches children a solid work ethic.

Really, isn't the concept of public education in general outmoded in today's work force?  Most employees don't need to know how to read: Cash registers either have pictures of the items on the keys or just scan barcodes and do most of the work themselves.  All they need to know is how to dress themselves and obey orders, and the best way to teach them that is to put them in the workforce the moment they can walk and speak (and the latter is optional).

5.  Small government is honest government.

Because you can't afford the costly internal investigations and independent audit agencies that would uncover wrongdoing.

4.  Free market justice is quicker and more cost-effective.

Why waste time and money on police, courts, and laws doing for people what they can do for themselves with a .357 or a rope?  If the suspect is innocent, they should have thought of that before having a suspicious skin tone in the wrong neighborhood.

3.  Stock speculation by rich people creates jobs.

Temporarily, anyway.  Then it destroys them in far greater numbers within 3-5 years, but come on - what are the chances of that much time passing?

2.  Weed out the weak and sickly.

With no money for healthcare, those suffering from minor physical ailments in poverty can be more efficiently delivered unto the Bosom of The Lord while freeing the strong and healthy from the burden of caring for them.  Everyone wins, see?

1.  Giving back control of your future to the only person with a right to it: Your employer.

Job Creators get to hold on to more of your hard-earned money for you and, if they feel like it, create more jobs with it - in China.

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