So I have nagged enough that it looks like I will actually be making the trek in early June.
More below the Dooblydoo.
With the test being rescheduled and no word on when - I've had enough. So I put on my nudge hat and started nudging. Yes, I want to go home sooner than later. No, really. Like beginning of June sooner than later. No, you can't tempt me to stay, I need to get on with things. I can reschedule in Oregon. Really, I can.
So I've talked them into half the port fees and enough money to cover the rest of the trip - still holding onto the Kossack funds - I should be able to get there in one piece and have enough for a bottle of bleach to scrub out the boat too.
I'm putting some of my books in storage here with them - partially to help them know I won't drop off for another twenty years - and partly because I just don't have room for them if I'm going to be tearing up the interior to get the mast up. Plans don't need extra items in the way right now. I plan to winter in the gulf of Mexico anyway if I manage to shove off before the weather gets ugly - I can pick them up later.
So hopefully, there really will be some miles under the tyres come June. The route is an odd one - through Little Rock to visit a friend, then across and into New Mexico - it's a pretty straight shot across from Little Rock to Albuquerque - just a slightly long haul - then to Phoenix to pick up Ms Sailor - and off to Portland and the coast. With her in the car we can trade off driving a bit and save some stop time. Once we're in Oregon we'll clear out the boat and get on getting on - the goal being to get in shape to shove off this year - at least enough to get somewhere warm for the winter.
I'll transfer my SSDI claim back to my small town SSA office, where they know me by name and there's no horrible waiting times - I may need to go to Portland to get the testing done, but I have a car, I can do that. They may be able to do it locally, I don't know. I will get back in touch with CCA and keep my meds steady - they helped with them before I left, I think I can rely on them to keep things going with a proper diagnosis and keep doing better.
If I have to go to Portland once a month for a less expensive option, I will somehow - Ms Sailor should be able to find a job and that will help keep us afloat while we prep. I keep working on my beads and ideas for new items in the Etsy shop - and things will get better. There's always boat washing and things to do for other sailors as well. We'll manage. With at least half the slip fees paid when I get there, we'll have some breathing room. Hell, I might even come up in the OHP lottery again and have health coverage, that would be nice.
I've gotten the wifeish to at least shut up a bit - I decided it was time to have a small midlife crisis. No more stressing about her, it's time to get single and get on. She doesn't like that very much - or at least the version of her in my head that's been nattering on for two months. Let her disembodied voice pout - I don't care. I trimmed up my face, I'm fighting the horrible acne I've developed down here and I think I'm going to lighten up my hair a little. Fuck it, I want to feel smexy again. It can't hurt. When I get back I am also going to see if I can petition the court to declare the marriage invalid as cheap as possible and just send her the paperwork and be done with it. Ten years of waiting is enough.
I have decent clothing now, I've hit the "good" Goodwill enough that I have shorts and shirts for years that aren't Voldemart shit, stained or holey. I have my creativity back - and I have the knowledge that I will be going home sooner than later. I know what's going on and I'm working hard to get better - at least as better as I can.
I just couldn't bear the thought of a whole year down here. I want to see my friends again, to smell the salt air, to be rocked to sleep by the world. That's where I'm at peace and not isolated. I want to hike in air that isn't trying to drown me, to camp where the bugs aren't trying to eat me - to show off the state I love to someone who's never been there before. I want to go home, where I know I can go to shul and not be weirded out when I feel like it - get the food I need and build myself back up in a place where liberals are the norm, not the feared monsters.
And I won't be alone. I have my bestie coming with me, my good friends waiting for me and MY home. Where I can laugh and shout with glee at my stupid self, talk to birds, go for a walk at 3 am in safety and breathe with relief, not worry. Nigel will be king of his boat again, free to lounge on the decks and be adored by his boating public. He has quite the fanclub in the marina. No more sharing the litterbox or attention and no more battling to keep the worms and the fleas away. We'll all be more comfortable.
I'm really looking forward to June.