If the crucifixion happened in today's America, Jesus would be nailed to a billboard. Probably by cows. Who would spell his name "Jeezus."
Only 19% of registered voters turned out to pick a mayor in LA.
Seems America has spread the democracy a bit too thin.
Meteorologists agree, the terrible tragedy in Oklahoma could have been prevented by one well placed marine with an umbrella. Fukkin' Obama.
Even when unemployed it is important you keep an organized, regular schedule to pretend the stink of death doesn't pervade all creation.
On my resume under skills and experience, I added surviving poverty.
Ok ok, enough fucking around. Who wants to pay me to think of stuff?