Wait – What just happened? A roundup of the week in news, May 26, 2013
Go Home Pope, You’re Drunk
Earlier this week,
Pope Francis said that all who “do good” are redeemed and will go to heaven, even Atheists.
Alas, the Vatican issued an “explanatory note on the meaning to ‘salvation’”. Reverend Thomas Rosica, a Vatican spokesman, clarified that people who know about the Catholic Church “cannot be saved” if they “refuse to enter her or remain in her.”
First off, bad choice of words, Rosica. Second, just a little reminder. Atheists don’t actually believe in heaven, hell or religious salvation. Nice try, though.
Racial profiling: unreasonable suspicion
This week, the trial on the NYPD’s “Stop and Frisk” program proved two things (well, two things OTHER than the program was a blatant exercise in racial profiling):
White New Yorkers are twice as likely to be carrying a weapon than an African American or Latino
African Americans are 1/3 as likely as Whites to be carrying contraband on their person
84% of the “Stop and Frisks” were done to African Americans and Latinos. One officer testified that he was explicitly directed to target “young black men” and not just anyone deemed “suspicious” as the City argued in its defense.
89% of the stops resulted in no charges. Well, unless you count the $22 million class action lawsuit waged against the city.
Meanwhile, in Arizona, self-proclaimed “America’s toughest sheriff” Joe Arpaio violated the constitutional rights of Latino drivers in an effort to crack down on illegal immigration.
“The great weight of the evidence is that all types of saturation patrols at issue in this case incorporated race as a consideration into their operations,” ruled U.S. District Court Judge Murray Snow.
Arpaio is also well known for his tireless dedication in investigating the validity of President Barack Obama’s U.S. birth certificate. The Sheriff is steadfast in his claim that the certificate is a computer-generated forgery.
Need some help where “the magic happens”? Ask your local Evangelical Christian!
Always understanding and straightforward when it comes to sex, the Christian right has been offering a lot of advice lately on just how to keep things active and healthy in the bedroom. One example? A woman should submit to her husband whenever his need, uh, rises (nudge nudge, wink wink). However ladies, you sex-crazed nymphos, don’t expect men to submit just because you want it.
And masturbation is of course a no-no – after all, what’s that wife for?
911? It’s me…no really. It’s me!
In an astounding display of stupidity, three criminals in two separate crimes were arrested after they essentially called the police on themselves. The first two found a vehicle, broke into it and stole whatever they could find (including narcotics). Meanwhile the entire event was captured through a phone call made to 911 by one of the criminals…by butt-dialing.
The third criminal, after arguing in the parking lot of a Florida Waffle House restaurant threatened to kill the party he was arguing with, but not before butt-dialing 911, allowing authorities to listen to the whole sordid scene. A few minutes later someone was indeed murdered. Although they don’t believe this Einstein was the triggerman, they do think he coordinated the shooting.
Two words – keypad lock.
She believes the children are our future…teach them god and let them not be gay…
In the midst of all of the controversy surrounding marriage equality, first-time author Amber Dee Parker has written a children’s book, “God Made Mom & Dad” to add to the confusion. The book tackles the tough topics of adoption, interracial marriage, and of course, the “sensitive” way to teach your child about how he or she should pray for those children who are unlucky enough to have parents who are the same gender.
Tired of dealing with Climate Change Deniers?
Well it’s time to get skeptical about global warming skepticism with the following ninety-nine one liners and paragraphs (as well as links to beginning, intermediate and advanced details of the studies to back up your arguments, just in case the person you’re debating actually cares about scientific proof) presented by John Cook at Skeptical Science.
Some examples?
#4 Denier: “There is no consensus.”
One Liner: 97% of climate experts agree humans are causing global warming.
Paragraph: That humans are causing global warming is the position of the Academies of Science from 19 countries plus many scientific organizations that study climate science. More specifically, around 95% of active climate researchers actively publishing climate papers endorse the consensus position.
Merry Christmas. It’s the Law.
Proactively thwarting this year’s inevitable “War on Christmas” perpetrated by evildoers like Atheists or the Obamas, Texas has put forward the “Merry Christmas Bill” which will allow staff at public schools to “offer traditional greetings” including “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Hanukkah” to their students, and permitting school districts to “display on school property scenes or symbols associated with traditional winter celebrations.”
The sponsors of the bill put up a website warning about a post-apocalyptic world where children have to ask “Daddy, why do we have a Christmas tree at home and a Holiday tree at school?”
One less facepalm for Arkansas this week
when U.S. District Judge Susan Webber Wright barred Arkansas from implementing one of the nation’s most restrictive abortion laws on Friday, May 17, calling it “more than likely unconstitutional.”
Wright said the 12-week standard criminalizes some abortions before the generally accepted medical standard of viability for a fetus, which is 24 weeks.
Wright said, “the Supreme Court has consistently used viability as a standard with respect to any law that regulates abortion. This act defines viability as something viability is not.”
Josh Mesker, a spokesman for the nonprofit Arkansas Family Council, told NBC News the ruling was “disappointing, but it’s not unexpected.”