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Last night, Stephen Colbert covered the latest in gun technology, a rifle that will aim and shoot for you, basically guaranteeing a kill shot every time.

Nation, if you watch this show, you know that I will defend our Second Amendment right to keep and bear arms from all who would attack it, and that includes guns.  For too long, they have demanded that in order to use them, you have to know how to use them.  I mean, get this: aim and pull the trigger at the same time?  How is my hand supposed to know what my eye is seeing?  It's tyranny.

That's why I am as pumped as a 12-gauge about a breakthrough in skill-free killing.  It's called the TrackingPoint rifle, and it's got its own video.

TRACKINGPOINT AD: TrackingPoint introduces the world's first precision-guided firearm, the revolutionary new long-range shooting system that puts jet fighter lock and launch technology in a rifle, enabling anyone to hit moving targets at extended ranges.
Wow!  It's like you're a fighter pilot taking out Osama bin Antelope!  Here's how TrackingPoint's digital brain takes out the troublesome human element of where to aim and when to fire.

Tag: The shooter presses the Tag Button to paint the target, and persistently lock on, regardless of the target's movement.

Track: The Networked Tracking Scope's ballistic computer instantly accounts for all range and environmental factors.

Xact: The shooter aligns the reticle with the tag, and then squeezes and holds the Guided Trigger.  The system allows the trigger to launch the round at the perfect moment to ensure impact with your target.

(shocked audience response as a shot kills an animal in the video)

Finally, a solution to the age-old problem, sometimes the animal stands a chance.

Because, folks, the TrackingPoint will take down game at extreeeeeeeeme distances, because the smart scope takes everything into consideration, including environmental conditions.

TRACKINGPOINT AD: Typical hunt elements include wind speed, pressure, and temperature.
So, when you shoot a wildebeest, and then have to cross a time zone to go pick it up, you'll know whether to pack an umbrella.

Plus, the TrackingPoint scope comes complete with its own built in Wi-Fi server.  Now, you'll be able to continue to track your prey even if it leaves the Starbucks.

(audience laughter and applause)

And, folks, it's that....  (audience still applauding)

And that Internet connectivity finally fulfills the true promise of the Second Amendment — letting your gun make Facebook friends.

TRACKINGPOINT AD: Your Networked Tracking Scope records each shot sequence, and takes photos of each tag, shot, and result.  Hit the download button, and your videos and photos on the Networked Tracking Scope will transfer to your phone.  You can then go into your photo browser, and e-mail, text, tweet, or share via social media.
Now, you can post a picture of you making a duck face, while your gun posts a picture of you blowing off a duck's face.

(wild audience cheering and applause)

And of course, the cutting-edge tech extends to safety features too, because you can password protect your scope.  Totally safe.  Because without a password, your gun "cannot do the tag/track/exact", and will merely "still operate as a firearm".

So, do not forget your password, or you'll only be able to kill stuff you can see.

Now, one downside to the TrackingPoint rifle is that it costs up to $22,000, so it is slightly more expensive than if you'd just taken out a Mafia contract on a gazelle.

(audience laughter)

That's one nervous gazelle.

But I have a bigger issue with the TrackingPoint, folks.  Sure, it makes killing animals as easy as pointing at them, but you still have to stand up and go outside.  And that's more effort than I like to give my outdoor activities.

So I am calling on the good folks at TrackingPoint to develop a precision-guided firearm that can precision-guide itself to where the animals are.  Leave me out of it.  I'm thinking maybe a rifle hot-glued to a Roomba.

(audience laughter and applause)

A... Boomba, if you will.  (audience laughter)  But please, keep the vacuuming feature, because I want it to be a clean kill.  We'll be right back.

Video below the fold.

He then had another Better Know a District segment with Rep. Mark Pocan (D-WI).
Meanwhile, Jon hammered the IRS for all the news about some of their own expenditures.
He also ripped into John McCain for going into Syria without knowing who are the good guys versus the bad guys.
Stephen talked with Rep. John Dingell (D-MI), who is about to become the longest-serving member of Congress in U.S. history, and Jon talked with Mike Lerner and Maxim Pozdorovkin about their documentary on the Russian band Pussy Riot.

Originally posted to BruinKid on Tue Jun 04, 2013 at 05:00 AM PDT.

Also republished by Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Cue up some Tom Lehrer (6+ / 0-)
    People ask me how I do it,
    And I say, "There's nothin' to it,
    You just stand there lookin' cute,
    And when something moves, you shoot!"
    And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now,
    Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a pure-bred Guernsey cow.

    If cats could blog, they wouldn't

    by crystal eyes on Tue Jun 04, 2013 at 05:31:39 AM PDT

  •  Nauseating. (5+ / 0-)

    Literally tasting vomit right now.

    It rubs the loofah on its skin or else it gets the falafel again.

    by Fishgrease on Tue Jun 04, 2013 at 05:48:22 AM PDT

  •  Amazing (6+ / 0-)

    So all this "I'm a huntin' manly man" crap is shown to be really nothing more than being someone who likes to watch animals die.

    Let's take all the skill out of hunting because it really should be no more difficult than going to a slaughterhouse and firing a bullet into a restrained cow's brain.

    "Ooh!", sigh these manly, manly men when one their own shoots a kudu at 698 yards. A shot he could never make on his own. He's just like a real Army sniper!

    "Wow!" they cheer as a guy gut-shoots a gazelle, leaving it to stagger on in agony, slowly dying, not knowing why it has been inflicted with this agonizing pain, while they natter on like little old ladies about how much fun it is to let a machine do all the hard work your lack of skill and your beer-gut usually prevents you from doing.

    At last, a way to do away with the expense of corralling a bunch of heavily-drugged animals into a pen so a pathetic loser can fire away with a 30 round clip until, by sheer accident, he drunkenly hits his target at 20 yards (the Dick Cheney school of "hunting"). Now, losermen can buy a gun that does all the work. Now that's progress!

  •  And it only costs $17,000.00! n/t (4+ / 0-)

    You eat a lot of acid, Miller, back in the hippie days?

    by oldpunk on Tue Jun 04, 2013 at 06:43:02 AM PDT

  •  Well, what's the problem? (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    JML9999, white blitz, FloridaSNMOM

    I mean, it's only a matter of time until we allow drone targeting of deer.

    It's not like we would ever use that on humans or something...


    I don't blame Christians. I blame Stupid. Which sadly is a much more popular religion these days.

    by detroitmechworks on Tue Jun 04, 2013 at 07:10:35 AM PDT

  •  Truly disgusting (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    JML9999, FloridaSNMOM, Mark Mywurtz

    and probably worthy of a diary in and of itself. As a hunter I find this technology to be more than a little concerning. How does a sportsman justify the use of this weapon? In my opinion, the danger of this type of weapon becoming available to the general public cannot be overstated.

    Kudos to Colbert for offering this up in a fashion that only he can pull off.

  •  This isn't 'hunting': it's animal assassination. (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    JML9999, FloridaSNMOM
  •  Guns Don't Kill People? (3+ / 0-)

    Time for gun nuts to find a new bumper sticker.

  •  I wouldn't be so quick to degrate... (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    andalusi, annieli

    this modern hunting technology as being unsportsmanlike. Many of you are enjoying your t-bone steaks by way of contract killing; nothing "sporty" about slaughterhouses. The fact that you aren't actually pulling the trigger, but simply opening your wallet at the meat market is a difference in style only.

    Glottal fricative and breathy-voiced mid-low central unrounded vowel, repeated, diphthong ending with a high front vowel.

    by glb3 on Tue Jun 04, 2013 at 08:44:30 AM PDT

  •  you can ger balistic calculators for cheap (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Dogs are fuzzy, andalusi, annieli

    to run on your tablet, smartphone, etc.

    For successful long distance hunting (this is not your regular guy deer/duck hunting). you need to do two things... First, run some ballistics calculations to know how to dope your scope.  Second, make a well-placed shot (otherwise the calculations aren't much good on their own).

    Normally what you'd do, for long range hunting, is determine your distance to the target, the targets elevation and your elevation (to determine slope, which you use to determine true distance,  prevailing wind direction/speed.  Depending on your equipment, this can take a while (i.e how good your rangefinder is determines how many manual calculations you need to make).

    So, essentially the (really expensive) scope handles the rangefinding and ballistics calculation for you, saving you about 30 seconds of work (give or take).  Thats half of the equation solved right there.

    The rest of the story is being able to physically make the shot, and their package doesn't look particularly noob-friendly:

    They took a lightweight (yet precision) rifle and attached a scope that automatically handles ballistic calculations (that you'd normally compute, then dope your scope) and give you some nice handloads for 300 win mag.  The rounds aren't laser/radar guided, so you're still talking about standard ballistics here, and doing nothing for the standard assortment of bad shooting dicipline that can mess-up your shot (poor trigger squeeze, poor breath control, flinching, poor rest, etc).

    300 win mag is not a comfortable round to fire out of an uncompensated, lightweight bolt action rifle.  This is coming from a guy who's OK with 30-06 out of a bolt gun, so I'm not particularly recoil sensitive.

    A lighter rifle is going to have more perceived recoil (i.e kicks harder).  A lighter rifle also gets 'scope heavy', causing poor balance (though they can fix this easily by adding some weight below the handguard) .

    There's no T+E (transverse+ elevation) that the system rest on, meaning you have to manually steady the rifle, which if you're recoil-shy or have a poor trigger pull is not going to hemp matters.

    It looks like a nice, higher-end tool for rocky-mountain guided hunts, but I don't see a lot of utility here for the average hunter or novice shooter.  And it's fucking expensive to boot.

  •  as indicated elsewhere, it may (0+ / 0-)

    actually have more use in the para-military arena: see Joe Arpaio's SWAT unit

    Warning - some snark may be above‽ (-9.50; -7.03)‽ eState4Column5©2013 "I’m not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be" - Barack Obama 04/27/2013

    by annieli on Tue Jun 04, 2013 at 06:13:40 PM PDT

  •  Am I reading this right? (0+ / 0-)

    Being able to accurately hit a target so far that you can't actually see it well enough to identify it with certainty...and the ability to record and share a fun video of the killing to boot?  

    I'm sure RWNJs are salivating at the opportunity to own a few of these and Republican politicians are just as piqued to give their whackjob constituents what they want.  Can't wait to see the RKBA excuse for making this crap available to anybody who wants one.  

    This is what the world has come to....

    Political compass: -8.75 / -4.72

    by Mark Mywurtz on Wed Jun 05, 2013 at 03:57:41 AM PDT

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