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We Imprison more people than any other nation in the world.  Clearly we're not a police state, we just have more criminals than anybody else.

We only allow protests against government in rigidly defined areas with rigidly defined times, which are subject to change at the discretion of the police.  Clearly We're not a police state, we just have great respect for the safety of our citizens.

(More ways in which we most absolutely are NOT a police state)

We keep records on phone conversations and internet traffic of our citizens.  Clearly we're not a police state, we just happen to be very concerned about terrorists.  

We hold people without trial for years at a time.  Clearly we're not a police state, we just have a lot of people who are dangerous.  Not that we can explain exactly how they're dangerous, because that's classified.

We train our citizens to keep eyes on other citizens, you know, just in case.  Clearly we're not a police state, we are proactive and being good neighbors.

We are still involved in an occupation of another country, where we regularly bomb people we suspect of being terrorists.  Clearly we're not a police state, because those aren't our citizens.  And the ones that WERE our citizens, well, they aren't our citizens now.

Everything the government does is legal.  Clearly we're not a police state, because in a police state the police would actually write the laws.  Here they actually have to get their actions approved, so clearly it's not a police state.

Clearly we're not a police state because I can say that we are a police state.  If it really was a police state I couldn't say that it was, so therefore, logically, we aren't.

I can vote for anyone I want to, so therefore it's not a police state.  Of course, I can't vote for a third party because then it's my fault when a Republican gets into office.

So stop panicking folks!  We're not a police state, and we never will be, because we have FREEDOM!


7:55 AM PT: Wow, Rec List?  I can NEVER predict when these are going to hit...  Thanks for the Recs folks, I'm humbled.

10:11 AM PT: #2???  Once again I prove that I am the absolute worst judge of my own work, ever.

2:52 PM PT: Aaaack!  #1?  And only a few recs from being my most recced diary ever?  Damn, I need to write more humor.  

3:45 PM PT: Don't know why people are so stressed out about this... it's been going on for YEARS...  ;)

Sat Jun 08, 2013 at 5:42 AM PT: Most recced ever!  Dang.  Now I have to come up with a good follow up.

I need to write more when I can't sleep.

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