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Night owls
It's a slow Friday night, it's been a fairly dismal week, and I don't want to talk about politics anymore. Instead, here are some Free Movie Ideas. Hollywood, if you're interested in any of these phone me up and we'll talk screenplay, I'm fairly sure I could churn most of these out in an hour or so.

Monopoly — An adaptation of the board game. Residents of an unnamed city must band together to fight off an alien invasion. From the slums of Baltic Avenue to the wealthy socialites of Park Place, a diverse team of locals must overcome their class differences in order to defeat the alien menace. There are lots of explosions and literally the whole last forty minutes of the movie is just one big explosion with other explosions exploding all around it.

Sorry — An adaptation of the board game. A zombie apocalypse has destroyed most of humanity, but scattered groups of survivors remain. Each team of survivors must scramble to one of the few remaining safe locations, or "H.O.M.E."s, on the planet. Chased unrelentingly by the zombie hoard, the only path for survival for our heroes is to capture and toss members of the other teams behind them as momentary bait to distract the zombies. Also there are lots of explosions because some of the team members have gotten hold of some bombs or something.

Conjunction Junction — An adaptation of the Schoolhouse Rock animated short. Terrorists have hidden a bomb inside a railcar—a bomb that will go off only if the railcar is connected to two other specific cars. Steven Seagal stars as a tough railroad conductor hunting for the car and the terrorist masterminds behind the plot. Then aliens invade, and there are lots of explosions and stuff.

Mahjong: Tiles of Fate — An adaptation of the tile-based game. Around the world, groups of people playing mahjong discover that their little mahjong tiles are actually tiny alien spaceships and if they're placed together in certain ways they explode because it overloads their Space Circuits. But the aliens are evil and are planning an invasion so the players all have to put them together and make them explode anyway even though they know it will kill whatever players are doing it. World governments assemble teams of the very best mahjong players for the suicidal mission of playing mahjong with the exploding Space Tiles in order to kill the aliens. Eventually all the aliens are killed due to the self-sacrifice of the heroic players, but then somebody points out they probably could have done that part with robots and not killed so many people and everyone tells him to shut up but WAIT—just then the guy discovers a few more tiles that have fallen under a table and there's no time to warn anyone or get one of his precious robots so he puts them together and they explode and he dies which serves him right for pointing out such a gigantic plot hole.

Untitled Scientology Movie—In this potential summer blockbuster, Hollywood's top Scientologists come together to produce the largest and most unapologetically terrible movie conspicuously based on Scientology teachings ever filmed. High-budget special effects will be paired with dialogue so awful that potential audience members will be screened for suicidal thoughts before being allowed into the theater. Each actor will sign an affidavit before filming stating that they promise to turn in a nearly career-ending performance, and will be dressed by a costume department operating on a complex series of personal dares. Explosions? Everywhere, all the time. Also the aliens arrive in Space DC-8s but they're not really DC-8's because they have Space Lasers and Space Landing Gear and they're powered by the screams of a billion alien souls and also peanut butter. At the end they explode.



Blast from the Past. At Daily Kos on this date in 2003McKiernan's dilemma:

Lt. Gen David McKiernan faces a problem as old as Iraq: how to keep the tribes and various factions under control.

His methods have involved sweeps and nightly patrols in a war which may go on as long as Americans are in Iraq.

The White House and Defense Department are using loaded words like terrorists and Baathists, which may sound nice on Fox News, but does little to explain how complex the politics of Iraq are.

One must keep in mind Saddam used a complex series of bribes and a secret police establishment to work his magic. He rarely acted overtly, except when needed. But even he couldn't prevent a full-scale Shia uprising and many of the secret dead come from that period.

The US faces a grim series of realities and some military choices.


Tweet of the Day:

Consultant's advice to R cong. candidate sitting next to me: "Don't act like you're getting sexually aroused by cutting the budget."
@aseitzwald



On today's Kagro in the Morning show, the 6 month anniversary of the 12/14 Newtown shootings brings us to a new and intriguing episode of #GunFAIL, the recent killing of a 10-year-old Virginia girl by her 13-year-old brother, who was cleaning and repairing his shotgun. No charges will be filed, the death is chalked up to "tragic accident," and everyone insists the boy was fully trained and cautious to a fault. Except he wasn't. We returned to the NSA story during the second half of the show, doing our best to turn things on their heads to give us another look at the intricacies and perplexing nature of all the issues bound up in it.



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