Skip to main content

Like all participants in the Demonizing America for Freedom Tour, I think violating internet privacy is tantamount to mass-murdering totalitarianism.  And since you're a loyal, decent, freedom-loving person, you totally agree with every word I'm saying.  Every last word, without exception.  Or at least, I certainly hope you do - I hope you're not The Enemy.  I would hope you don't harbor any counterrevolutionary thoughts about facts, reason, proportion, history, or any other heretical concept that would get in the way of enjoying unfettered pious bigotry.  However, there is room for honest folk to disagree about precisely which spawn of Satan from history Barack Obama most resembles, and which of their affiliated institutions most resembles America today.  

Rand Paul

Let's run down the choices:

1.  Stasi:  

Similarities to USA: Has the letters 's' and 'a' in it.  Is run by people.  There was that thing with that guy that happened one time, that's also like that other thing with that other guy that happened that other time.  You know what I mean.

Differences from USA: Can't think of any!  And neither can you, if you know what's good for you.

2.  Gestapo:

Similarities to USA: In both cases, we have it on good authority that at some point, telephones were involved.  The Gestapo also had doors on their offices.  Ed Snowden reports that American federal gubmint agencies have doors on their offices too, and that telephones have been used.  Connect the dots, people.

Differences from USA: Obama is teh more eviler than Hitler.

3.  KGB:

Similarities to USA: It was bad and stuff, just like it's bad and stuff now.  No need to go into any further detail - I think we've established that America is like Soviet Russia.  Anyone who doesn't favor puppy torture can see that clearly.  You don't favor puppy torture, do you?

Differences from USA: Eh, screw this part.  In fact, if you're reading this, you're probably on the side of totalitarianism, and may be a killer with bodies buried in your basement.  People who support the 4th Amendment wouldn't read this section.

---

So what can we conclude?  Well, I'm a uniter, not a divider, so I frankly think there's no reason not to say "All of the Above"!  Yep: America is like the Stasi, the Gestapo, and the KGB.  In fact, I would say it's like all three of them combined:  We could call it the GestasGB, or the Kstapi, or StaKGesta.  So American totalitarianism is basically like Sharknado: A concept articulated by very brilliant, talented, hardworking intellectuals, that appeals to the higher senses of Man and increases the dignity and reputation of all involved.  

In recognition of this fact, from now on all true progressives are hereby required to refer to this country as the Spewnited Hates of Hitlernado, not by the right-wing name used by the media that seeks to whitewash the crimes and horrors of this shit-smelling stewpot of a Satanic fuck-stain.

Now that we've settled that, all aboard the Rand Paul 2016 Express!  Choo-choooo!  Yaayah!

Poll

As a Freedom-loving Free Freedom Person, You Agree with Every Word I'm saying, right?

100%29 votes

| 29 votes | Vote | Results

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site