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It has now been six months since Barack Obama was re-inaugurated, and Republican members of the do-nothingest Congress in history are still trying to come to terms with the fact that he's the President of the United States—and that he's black!

In the Senate, which was once renowned for its collegial atmosphere, gang warfare has become the norm; this week, a last-minute agreement to halt the blockade of Obama's nominees to various federal agencies finally brought an end to the biggest nuclear showdown since the original Cuban missile crisis.

Meanwhile, in the House of Representatives, Speaker Boehner and his caucus have maintained a nearly singular focus on job creation repealing Obamacare, despite the chances of that actually happening being zero.

But worry not; soon enough, Congress will return to doing what it does best—which is to say, nothing.

Morning lineup:

Meet the Press: Michigan Gov. Rick Synder (R); Marc Morial (National Urban League); Rep. Marcia Fudge (D-OH); Tavis Smiley (PBS); Harvard Law School Prof. Charles Ogletree; Former RNC Chair Michael Steele; Roundtable Former Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm (D), David Brooks (New York Times) and Chuck Todd (NBC News).

Face the Nation: House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH); Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder (R); Roundtable: Gerald Seib (Wall Street Journal), Susan Page (USA Today), Michael Scherer (TIME), Gwen Ifill (PBS) and John Dickerson (CBS News).

This Week: Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX); Detroit Mayor Dave Bing (D); Roundtable: Former Obama White House Green Jobs Adviser Van Jones, Former Bush White House Press Secretary Dana Perino, Cokie Roberts (ABC News), Republican Strategist Matthew Dowd, Jonathan Karl (ABC News) and Pierre Thomas (ABC News).

Fox News Sunday: Black Republican Dr. Ben Carson; Rep. Donna Edwards (D-NC); Detroit Emergency Manager Kevyn Orr; Roundtable: Bill Kristol (Weekly Standard), Kirsten Powers (Daily Beast), Former Sen. Scott Brown (R-MA) and Former Sen. Evan Bayh (D-IN).

State of the Union: Sen. John McCain (R-AZ); Rep. Xavier Beccerra (D-CA); Rep. Cedric Richmond (D-LA); Charles Blow (New York Times); Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-GA); Sherrilyn Ifill (NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund); Conservative Commentator Crystal Wright.

Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will feature: a report on the use of bomb-sniffing dogs on the battlefield (preview); and, a follow-up report on Sudanese refugees who have resettled in the U.S. (preview).

On Comedy Central...

"Daily Show" guest host John Oliver reacted to the acquital of George Zimmerman.

The Daily Show

Monday: Actor/Comedian Louis CK

Tuesday: Author Richard Haass

Wednesday: Actress Shailene Woodley

Thursday: Manager of Egypt's National Soccer Team Bob Bradley

And Stephen Colbert examined the alternate reality that Fox News operates in.

The Colbert Report

Monday: Author Kjerstin Gruys

Tuesday: Author Kenneth Goldsmith

Wednesday: President of edX Anant Agarwa

Thursday: Former Sen. Olympia Snowe (R-ME)

From the "What could possibly go wrong?" department...

A proposed ordinance in small town Colorado would encourage residents to try and shoot down drones.

The FAA released a statement in response to questions about an ordinance under consideration in the tiny farming community of Deer Trail, Colo., that would encourage hunters to shoot down drowns. The administration reminded the public that it regulates the nation's airspace, including the airspace over cities and towns. [...]

Under the proposed ordinance, Deer Trail would grant hunting permits to shoot drones. The permits would cost $25 each. The town would also encourage drone hunting by awarding $100 to anyone who presents a valid hunting license and identifiable pieces of a drone that has been shot down.

Deer Trail resident Phillip Steel, 48, author of the proposal, said in an interview that he has 28 signatures on a petition — roughly 10 percent of the town' registered voters. Under Colorado law, that requires local officials to formally consider the proposal at a meeting next month. Town officials would then have the option of adopting the ordinance or putting it on the ballot in an election this fall, he said. [...]

He dismissed the FAA's warning. "The FAA doesn’t have the power to make a law," he said.

Speaking of killing machines...

In his latest column for World Net Daily, would-be President of Texas Chuck Norris addressed some alleged "Chuck Norris Facts."

Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live."

It's funny. It's cute. But here's what I really think about the theory of evolution: It's not real. It is not the way we got here. In fact, the life you see on this planet is really just a list of creatures God has allowed to live.

We are not creations of random chance. We are not accidents. There is a God, a Creator, who made you and me. We were made in His image, which separates us from all other creatures.

And, in other religious news...

The newest entrant into the Iowa Senate race is hoping to do the Lord's work if elected.

As if the Senate didn’t have enough problems, one Iowa Republican wants to convert Chuck Schumer to Christianity if he's elected next year.

David Young, the former chief of staff to Senator Chuck Grassley, announced his desire to spread the gospel on Capitol Hill if he succeeds in his bid to become the next U.S. Senator from Iowa. At a forum for Republican primary hopefuls sponsored by the Iowa Faith and Freedom Coalition on Monday night in Cedar Rapids, Young said what Washington DC really needs is "a change of hearts and minds." According to Craig Robinson at the Iowa Republican, Young would accomplish this as a Senator by "inviting New York Senator Chuck Schumer to lunch so that he could share the good news of Jesus Christ." Schumer is Jewish.

Christ, what an asshole!

- Trix

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