is the title of this powerful post at Reader Supported News by Eve Ensler.
It is written in the form of an open letter to Trayvon Martin. She begins by explaining that
It is unusual for me to write about boys or men unless I am calling them to end the violence against women and girls or asking them to join us in standing up for women's rights.
She acknowledges that is a failure on her part. She says that Trayvon's death has affected her, in part
You, at 17, the same age as my son when I adopted him because his birth mother had been murdered when he was five. The same age, that same half man, half boy, half needy, half daring face. That same playfulness, cleverness, sadness, anger, unreachable boy/man loneliness. I stare at your photograph and imagine my son lying in the mean streets dead, a spilled can of soda at his head.
But there is more, so much more, even as she acknowledges she will never know what it is to be a black male, to be treated so differently even from birth.
Ensler acknowledges that is she is not Trayvon, but then offers this, which I suggest you read, and then ponder:
I know for example what it is like to walk the streets, any streets, (particularly at dusk or dark) and be totally vulnerable, in trepidation and terror. I know what it's like to be worried about being followed, to speed up my step or slow down and pretend to be casual. It's a pity the prosecutors were unable to communicate your terror to the all-female jury, as we would hope they would have connected. I know what it feels like to be attacked or raped and be blamed for it because of what I was wearing (hoodie =short skirt). I know what it is like to be someone whose opinions and experience are essentially perceived as inferior and untrustworthy. I know what it feels like to be told I am to blame for violence inflicted on me by the way I walk or look or carry myself or time of day I go out. I know how it feels to be blamed for talking back, defending myself (see recent story of Marissa Alexander, who fired warning shots in the air against her abusive husband and got 20 years in prison), or making an angry or upsetting grimace (the police in Miami have not articulated any legitimate basis for jumping on 14-year-old Tremaine McMillian, throwing him to the ground, placing him in choke hold, and terrorizing him until he urinated on himself. The assertion was that he gave the officers "dehumanizing stares" or looked at them in a "menacing" way). I know what it's like to have the law stacked against me or the culture surrounding the law used to diminish my moral character, if not erase it, before I step into the box. I know what it's like to be alone, disbelieved, and in pain.
I am already pushing the limits of fair use. This is a superb piece.
Let me offer two more snips.
This February 14, 2014, women and men will rise all over the planet for justice, One Billion Rising for Justice, for an end to violence against women, for an end to the humiliation and degradation of men which leads to violence. We will rise for an end to guns and Stand Your Ground laws where unarmed 17-year-olds are shot down dead. We will rise to say Justice involves the whole story -- the story of race, of class, of gender. Our struggles are one.
And then Ensler's conclusion:
I am rising for a justice that is contingent on you rising, Trayvon and all the boys with tender hearts and big dreams in their hoodies.
Hoodies - one year my boys JV soccer team all wanted hoodies - they paid their own money for hooded sweatshirts, and even bought me one. Of the 24 players, only 3 were Black. They all had dreams, and merely putting one's hood up should not put them at risk, regardless of the color of their skin.
We have too much lack of responsibility in American society. Those who are responsible for the wrong doing have somehow found a way to blame the victim(s) -
those with subprime and now underwater mortgages should not have taken them out
A man gets approval from the Iowa Supreme Court to fire a woman because she is too attractive, not taking responsibility for his own apparently inability to control his attention
A woman who gets raped gets blamed for how she dresses, where she was, what she may have consumed
A teenager gets killed by a man who never should have gotten out of the car, who has a firearm without a safety so he can shoot someone more quickly
... feel free to add your own examples
I have never been raped
I have never been profiled because of the color of my skin
I have at most been looked at somewhat askance because of my dress and how much hair was on my head and my face
and yes, on occasion I have experienced discrimination and hostility because my last name is Bernstein
I am privileged by my white skin, my upper middle class family, my elite education.
And I stand with Eve Ensler.
I am rising for a justice that is contingent on you rising, Trayvon and all the boys with tender hearts and big dreams in their hoodies.
Only I will take it further -
I rise for a justice that will let girls all over the world get an education, and have their own big dreams.
I rise for a justice that will ensure that LGBT youth and adults are not subject to harassment or worse, that they are able to complete their education, get and hold their jobs based on the content of their character and their abilities, not their sexual orientation.
I rise for a justice that is inclusive, that sees all as part of the fabric of human society.
Perhaps that is why I am a Quaker.
What I want most of all is to be able to walk gladly across the earth, answering that of God in each person I encounter.
Each has it, whatever you may call it, and each is entitled to have it answered.
That is to see each human being as fully human, fully entitled to respect for that humanity.
I read the Ensler.
I have chosen to add a few words of my own.
Go read the complete Ensler.
Then decide what words are appropriate for you to add.
Peace.