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I have spent the last few weeks struggling with myself.   I am a white male, who makes a decent living.   I own a home.  I have a beautiful wife and children.  And, I enjoy consensual sex with a willing partner who does not plan on becoming pregnant.

I have spent the last few weeks, since the Texas Legislature happenings and all the follow up commentary feeling truly bad about my position, because it has been explained to me repeatedly what I am doing is obviously evil, bad, wrong... hell, maybe illegal in the future. I am either taking advantage of the woman in my life who knows no better, or my failure to consider cranking out another kid makes me evil.   I mean, I'm almost forty.  I should just give up sex, I suppose.  Either that, or I'm busy just blackmailing my partner into it.

http://freethoughtblogs.com/...

“It is generally, from my opinion, the promiscuous white men who are pushing abortion,” Rios said. “I would even say the promiscuous black ones like our president, oh forgive me I shouldn’t say that, but they’re the ones who want sexual license, they do not want responsibility; abortion has always helped men more than it helps women.”

I am straight, so I have that on my side.  And, I love my partner.  And most of the time, that feeling is reciprocal.  (I freely admit that time that I overslept and forgot to take the trash around on trash day.. I was probably not her favorite person that weekend, totally my fault).

But as I read through all of the moves on sexual politics in America, I am coming to the conclusion we are apparently evil people who are just inches away from either prison or just damnation.

I think it started when I read this:

http://www.alternet.org/...

J
In an unusual move, Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli II (R), his party’s nominee for governor, launched a  new campaign website Wednesday highlighting his  efforts to reinstate Virginia’s unconstitutional Crimes Against Nature law. The rule, which makes felons out of even consenting married couples who engage in oral or anal sex in the privacy of their own homes, was  struck down by federal courts after Cuccinelli blocked efforts to bring it in line with the Supreme Court’s 2003  Lawrence v. Texas ruling.

The new site,  vachildpredators.com, highlights 90 people identified “sexual predators” in Virginia who have been charged under the  law since the 2003 ruling, which held that states could not ban private, non-commercial sexual relations between consenting adults. Cuccinelli warns that these offenders “could come off Virginia’s sex offender registry if a Virginia law used to protect children is not upheld,” and identifies the sodomy law as only the “Anti-Child Predators Law.” While it is true that many sex offenders are charged under the Crimes Against Nature law, it is far from the only tool prosecutors have to  punish child predators.

The law  states, “If any person carnally knows in any manner any brute animal, or carnally knows any male or female person by the anus or by or with the mouth, or voluntarily submits to such carnal knowledge, he or she shall be guilty of a Class 6 felony…” Cuccinelli claims that the law “is only applied to sodomy committed against minors, against non-consenting adults, or in public,” but fails to mention that what he wants to keep on the books criminalizes the private behavior of consenting grownups.

I tried to warn you upfront, this diary will be NSFW, but I have to get this off my chest.   I would be guilty of a class-6 felony should these kind of laws take effect.   I don't know what got into my wife & myself, that we tend to enjoy some of these deviant behaviors, but I have to say, I have partaken in those acts with a consensual partner and enjoyed them.  

In my defense, not much of the other, it's just not my bag, but oral stimulation?  Oh, heaven help me.. I throw myself on the mercy of the court.  Please don't convict me.  I have enjoyed it, and I know, now, thanks to a man who's an attorney I shouldn't.  

I have never connected it with being a pedophile, after all, I am not attracted to children.. but I will openly acknowledge I tell my wife every birthday she's 29 again, and our age disparity at this point may be trending the wrong way.   And, I recognize in your world view her consent to give and receive doesn't help my case at all.. in fact, it may be used against me as the agressor or attacker of wanted.. but apparently "sick" acts.

But it gets worse for us.  

Like many Americans, even happily married ones, I will openly acknowledge that there are (plural) sex toys in our house.  I know!  I feel comforted by the fact I am not alone in this happening in my household:

http://www.adameve.com/...

But it won't stop when the vibrator police come to my house.

http://www.clarionledger.com/...

The Jackson Police Department raided two adult bookstores Monday afternoon and arrested an owner and the clerks working at those stores, said Sgt. William Gladney of the Vice/Narcotics Unit.

Gladney said that an undercover officer entered Secrets adult bookstore at 775 E. McDowell Road and the Adult Video & Bookstore at 501 E. McDowell Road and purchased sex toys at each location.

After getting a warrant, police returned about 4 p.m, made arrests and ...

I realize now that my purchase of said items - no matter how well intentioned - was obviously meant to please a woman, and that is apparently not allowed for.    I will work much harder on making my body vibrate at multi-thousand pulses per second.  I don't know how I plan to accomplish that yet, but it's a work in progress, and apparently I was shirking my duty there.

Every step along the way, I make the problem worse.  And so, the list of admissions increases again.. I have purchased condoms.  Even while married.  Quite a lot of them actually.  And soon, that may also make me a criminal.

Santorum has long opposed the Supreme Court’s 1965 ruling “that invalidated a Connecticut law banning contraception” and has also pledged to completely defund federal funding for contraception if elected president. As he told CaffeinatedThoughts.com editor Shane Vander Hart in October, “One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country,” the former Pennsylvania senator explained. “It’s not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.”

But an overwhelming majority of Americans — virtually all women (more than 99 percent ) aged 15–44 have used at least one contraceptive method — rely on contraceptives to prevent unintended pregnancies and limit the spread of sexually-transmitted diseases. In fact, the Guttmacher Institute estimates that contraceptive services provided at publicly funded clinics helped prevent almost two million unintended pregnancies. Without funding from Medicaid and Title X, “abortions occurring in the United States would be nearly two-thirds higher among women overall and among teens; the number of unintended pregnancies among poor women would nearly double.”

http://thinkprogress.org/...

Like 99% of my fellow Americans over the age 21, I have used a form of birth control.  I will apologize now.  Immediately, and throw myself at the mercy of the court.

I realize that not wanting more children is apparently not a good defense, in light of recent movements at state capitals, but rather than lie, I will throw myself at the mercy of the court and say: I love the children I do have, please keep that in mind.

Again, I throw myself on the mercy of the court, that I may not, apparently, be doing it right.  I am unsure of what accurate intercourse even is.

http://wonkette.com/...

   Another ah ha moment in the senate during SB5, Sen. Duel [sic] said pregnancy only occurs after “accurate intercourse”. But of course, any other is I assume inaccurate. Hmmmm!
I am ashamed to admit, there have probably been many times where I have practiced inaccurately.   Some of this I admit out of shame, in my youth, before I was married (again, another thing that may end up with me in a gulag somewhere) I just didn't know, and I apparently committed a major sin by letting a woman who liked sex, and not a nun or a pro-life protestor teach me what sex is.

And, I will openly admit, freely and honestly, much of what she taught me was loving, beautiful.. and fun, gritty, occasionally dirty, wildly entertaining and joyous.   I understand those last bits are likely going to keep me in trouble, so please don't throw me in prison.

I am just at a crossroads on masturbation.  On one hand, it is apparently evil and teaching anything about it in school puts me on a track for life long sin and horrible things.

But on the other hand, they now say the fact that male fetus's masturbate is a reason to stop abortion.

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/...

So, I am just tossing at turning at night.. if I masturbated now or ever, am I causing harm to my marriage, family and friends.. and if I tell my children or if they learn about what it is, am I an abusive parent... or is it proof of life that means that men like me should be saved because we do it (sorry, ladies, apparently if you ever do it, it's just because some dope like me participated in that illegal sex toy racket and forced our sick ideas on you by buying you the equipment of sin).

When we were married, I loved my wife deeply.   I still do.  Love of my life.  I had no realization then or now that we were such terrible lawbreakers.   That what we were doing consensually wasn't love, it was criminal.   And by me allowing abortion to exist in the world I was behaving terribly by subjecting her to potential horrible things in the world.

I understand how horrible I must be.  I apparently am everything they are concerned with.  I like consensual sex for non-reproductive reasons, and whether it is her warped behavior.. or maybe my wife is a practitioner of the dark arts I don't know about but heaven help us, she has enjoyed an inaccurate, non-reproductive sex life as well.

I live in a red state.  And I will throw myself on the mercy of the court.   Tomorrow, I will throw out all the lube in the house - though only you know, mostly empty bottles because I don't want to pollute or anything, and I will also try to find out more about the 'accurate method'.  Maybe Nina Hartley has videos.. oh wait, damnit, that's more sin.. I'm sure Rick Santorum has written it up somewhere, wife approved.

I had always assumed that sex was both an expression of love as well as fantastic (and cheap) entertainment that we could share for a couple of hours to be close to each other and enjoy our time on the earth.   I know now I am wrong.  

I'm sure somewhere there also has to be a law in this that will stop my wife from wearing my t-shirts also.  That may be the only bright side in my life of sin and shame.

I always thought being hetrosexual and white was a pretty good luck of the draw.  I guessed wrong.  How I learned to actually like sex for more than reproduction, I don't know.  And I recognize that "I was born this way" isn't a defense.  

Wed Jul 24, 2013 at 9:12 AM PT: I'm somewhat surprised this diary was as popular as it was, but I'm grateful.   These kind of witch hunts over human sexuality just baffle me, and so I thought I'd poke some fun.   Thank all of your for joining in.   Bunch of heathens ;)   The court may come for you soon enough!

Originally posted to tmservo433 on Tue Jul 23, 2013 at 01:23 PM PDT.

Also republished by Sex, Body, and Gender, Pro Choice, Sluts, and Community Spotlight.

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