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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…

Today's Helpful Hint

I may not have a Ph.D. from Trump University (I lied when I said I did earlier this week, but that was due to an excessive buildup of radon, carbon monoxide, lead, cadmium, arsenic and cat hair messing with my brain in my writing closet), but I can say with reasonable certainty that if you're running for public office, or doing anything else like, say, breathing, you shouldn't do what this Sabattus, Maine doofus did:

Moose crossing sign
Bonus helpful hint:
Always brake for moose.
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David Marsters, 68, who is running for selectman, says he told Secret Service agents who questioned him Tuesday that he was not threatening the president when he posted the [Facebook] message at 8:17 p.m. Friday. It appeared above a picture of Obama and a link to a story about how some Republican lawmakers think the president deserves to be impeached.

The message said, "Shoot the ..." and included a racial slur.

"I think it's a lot of hogwash," Marsters said in a telephone interview Tuesday. "I did not threaten the president. ... I might have used the wrong words. ... I didn't say I was going to do it."

He said his post was taken out of context.

"What I really meant to say is, 'When are we going to get rid of this (expletive),'" he said. "I should have said, 'I hope the bastard dies.'"

If you do find yourself in this situation, however, just follow these simple steps: 1) Take a deep breath 2) Delete the Facebook post and 3) Ask our governor for a job.

P.S. In fairness, this should not reflect poorly on Maine as Mr. Marster is a transplant from the deep south. Better known up here as Massachusetts.

Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, August 29, 2013

Note: Just a heads-up---there will be no C&J next Monday, so you'll have to cobble your own together out of Spam, dryer lint and tinfoil.  Please submit complaints to the proper authorities.  Or just think them in your head and the NSA will transmit them to the proper authorities free of charge.

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2013 Fryeburg Fair logo (Maine)
31 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the 162nd Fryeburg Fair: 31
Days 'til the historic histrionic Exempt America from Obamacare tea party rally starring Rand Paul and Ted Cruz: 12
Percent of Americans who say Obamacare should and should not, respectively, have its funding cut off: 36%, 57%
(Source: Kaiser Family Foundation poll)
Share of worldwide mobile ad revenue this year that will be controlled by Google and Facebook: 70%
(Source: eMarketer)
Increase in lodging prices this Labor Day (average: $171) vs. last year: 12%
Increase in airline prices between Labor Day 2012 and Labor Day 2013: 1%
(Source: Travelocity)
Rank of Maine---tied with Mississippi---among states doing the best job of keeping minors from buying cigarettes, according to a new CDC report: #1
(Source: The Portland Press Herald)

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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:

Molly ivins publicity photo  --- small
Speaking of freedom, at a public campaign rally in New Mexico at which Dick Cheney spoke, those who wished to attend were asked to first sign a public loyalty oath, to wit: "I, (full name), do herby (sic) endorse George W. Bush for re-election of the United States." The form also announced, "In signing the above endorsement you are consenting to use and release your name by Bush-Cheney as an endorser of President Bush.”

Meanwhile, at Bush's "Ask President Bush” events being staged around the country, only Bush supporters are allowed in. This results in such tough questions as, "This is the very first time that I have felt God was in the White House.” Did any of us sign up for this four years ago?
---August, 2004

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Puppy Pic of the Day:  Before/After  Amazing!

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CHEERS to taking your spatula and going home.  Those supposedly "isolated" fast-food-worker strikes that have been breaking out sporadically are about to get super sized.  Dovetailing on momentum from yesterday's commemoration of the 1963 March for Jobs and Freedom, workers in a minimum of 50 cities are expected to walk off the job today to get management's attention.  At issue is…

McCapitalism poster
…the fight for $15 an hour and the right to form a union without retaliation or unfair labor practices continuing to grow.

Workers are expected to strike at the nation’s major national fast-food restaurants, including McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s and KFC.  Clergy, elected officials, members of the Congressional Progressive Caucus (in conjunction with Progressive Congress), and community supporters will join fast-food workers on the strike lines in cities from Seattle to Tampa.


Cities include Boston, Chicago, Denver, Hartford, Houston, Los Angeles, Memphis, New York, Oakland, Raleigh and Tampa.  As a former burger flipper under the golden arches (and the fastest Quarter Pounder dresser in New England, according to me), I think what they're doing is great.  Namely, preventing Americans from eating fast food for an entire day.

CHEERS to a fine day for a family reunion.  True fact: when America sets its mind to commemorating something, we don’t mess around.  That was certainly true yesterday for the 50th anniversary of you-know-who-junior's you-know-what speech.  (Check out the Obama Diary post here for pics and video)  President Obama's speech (standing on the "MLK Dreamt Here" plaque) was great, but for my money Jimmy Carter, sporting Joe Cool shades, delivered quite the barnburner and got a little pissed off at all the right people…

But Bill Clinton delivered my favorite line:

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"A great democracy doesn't make it harder to vote than buy an assault weapon."
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It was tremendous, the whole thing.  Now, in the interest of equal time, I'll show you all the highlights from the third anniversary of Glenn Beck's August 28, 2010 "Protecting Honor" rally.  What?  You missed them?  You must've blinked.

President George W. Bush joins Arizona Senator John McCain in a small celebration of McCain's 69th birthday Monday, Aug. 29, 2005, after the President's arrival at Luke Air Force Base near Phoenix.
8/29/05--moments before
Michael Brown jumped
out of McCain's cake
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JEERS to Republican leadership inaction.  Eight years ago today, as George Bush displayed a lovely birthday cake he'd baked for John McCain (who turns 77 today), a swirling category-3 fetus was terrorizing abortion clinics in New Orleans.  FEMA head Michael Brown, drawing on his vast experience in disaster management as former head of the Arabian Horse Association's legal department, responded swiftly and maturely:
On August 29, the day of the storm, Brown exchanged e-mails about his attire with [FEMA's deputy director of public affairs Cindy] Taylor, [Rep. Charlie] Melancon said.  She told him, "You look fabulous," and Brown replied, "I got it at Nordstroms. ... Are you proud of me?"  An hour later, Brown added: "If you'll look at my lovely FEMA attire, you'll really vomit.  I am a fashion god."
Say it with me, for old time's sake: "Heckuva job, Brownie."  Meanwhile, you want to see something pretty?  Look, Ma, no hurricanes:
Atlantic Hurricane Center map for August 28, 2013
Thanks, Obama!!!

JEERS to overextending your tentacles.  One word: wow:

Eye looking thru keyhole
"There's nothing going
on here...which must
mean there's SOMETHING
GOING ON HERE!!!"
The New York Police Department has secretly labeled entire mosques as terrorist organizations, a designation that allows police to use informants to record sermons and spy on imams, often without specific evidence of criminal wrongdoing.

Designating an entire mosque as a terrorism enterprise means that anyone who attends prayer services there is a potential subject of an investigation and fair game for surveillance.

The story goes on to say that "the NYPD investigated countless innocent New York Muslims and put information about them in secret police files," and yet----wait for it---"the NYPD has never criminally charged a mosque or Islamic organization with operating as a terrorism enterprise."  No, but I'm thinking maybe someone should be doing that to some people in the NYPD.

JEERS to flappin' yer gums.  Fifty-six years ago today, South Carolina "Dixiecrat" Senator Strom Thurmond ended his over-24-hour filibuster---yeah, a real, honest-to-god talkfest---against the Civil Rights Act of 1957.  The good news: the bill passed anyway and Eisenhower signed it.  The bad news: Thurmond got his voice back.

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Five years ago in C&J: August 29, 2008---Democratic National Convention wrapup…

Ted Kennedy at the DNC cnvention
Ted in Denver.
CHEERS to stark contrast.  During the 2004 Democratic convention, it seemed like our party's slogan was, "Let's Keep Our Powder Dry."  This year it seemed to be, "You May Fire When Ready, Gridley!"  Michelle was perfect.  Ted was perfect.  Hillary was perfect.  Bill was perfect.  Joe was perfect.  Obama was perfect.  The unity bounce was sweet.  The whole thing was a platter of GOP-smashing red meat with a basket of progressive-idea fries and a side of Americana pie.  It was Rope-A-Dope.  It was a colossal fake-out.  And the best the wounded, shell-shocked Republicans could do was criticize the Greek-style columns.  (Then again, when your party is made up of white, calcified stonefaces that advocate ancient ideas, I guess I can't blame 'em for taking umbrage.)  Good pageant, kids.  You should take it on the road.

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And just one more…

CHEERS to famous firsts.  Where does the time go, huh?  Five years ago today, I posted my first-ever reference to Sarah Palin:

JEERS to adults who prove every day they're not smarter than a fifth-grader.  Steve Doocy of---you guess it---Fox News says Sarah Palin is a fantastic choice for vice president.  He thinks she's got the chops she needs to handle foreign affairs because Russia is in her back yard.  Which I guess means that if McCain wins, Steve Doocy will be a shoo-in to be appointed Ambassador to Pluto.
Tomatoes
I really don't want to post photos of
Sarah Palin in C&J. Instead, please
enjoy some vine-ripened tomatoes.
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I thought Doocy's comment was an isolated bit of garden-variety dumbassery.  But soon after, the entire Republican machine went into hypergear and backed the idea that Palin was a national security expert because she could---in the soon-to-be-immortal words of Tina Fey---"see Russia from my house."  It was all downhill from that low, low starting place.  Palin has since gotten crushed in a national election, resigned as governor because "only dead fish go with the flow," had two forgettable books ghost-written for her, gotten hired and fired and hired again (and at some point in the future fired again, we presume) at Fox News, embarked on (and abandoned) bus tours, and spent the 2012 Republican convention on the outside looking in.

Now there are calls from the likes of Bill Kristol to recruit her for a Senate run against Mark Begich.  Like that'll happen.  She's more likely to end up on QVC hawking powdered moose antler velvet as an aphrodisiac.  It's a dream.  She'll make it happen.  Unless she quits.  Again.

Oh, and the Syria conflict ended last night in a groundswell of compassion, compromise and respect for human rights.  Then my alarm clock went off.  Have a nice Thursday!  Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:

Dear Bill in Portland Maine: When you love your job, there is a nobility in working until you die, but retirement is a valid and respectable option, too.
---Garance Franke-Ruta
The Atlantic

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Poll

Which August birthday boy/girl among these would you rather do lunch with?

1%90 votes
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0%49 votes
7%410 votes
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32%1773 votes

| 5385 votes | Vote | Results

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