From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE
"Hey, love yer sig…"
Every now and agin' C&J drops in on random posts looking for signature lines (links, quotes, or other words of wisdom that automatically appear when you post a comment---you can create a "sig" at your user profile page). It's fun because it gives me a chance to explore posts I might not otherwise visit. Here's some brain candy from you, the unwashed but well-coiffed orange rabble:
Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon. As good as I am, the bird is going to shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway. –jbou 2013 (Simul Iustus et Peccator)
“We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children” ― Chief Seattle (SoCalSal)
"We should pay attention to that man behind the curtain." (Ed Tracey)
The Republican motto: "There's been a lot of progress in this country over the last 75 years, and we've been against all of it." (Hillbilly Dem)
There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from Midtown and how late is it open? -- Woody Allen (Mnemosyne)
"That being said, I do agree I am going to hell. But for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff " --Amy Pohler (Annie B)
...the GOP seems perfectly willing to hold their breath until the whole country turns Blue. (tommy2tone)
You have the right to remain silent. If you waive that right you will be accused of class warfare. (spritegeezer)
"Daddy, every time a bell rings, a Randian Libertarian picks up his Pan Am tickets for the Libertarian Paradise of West Dakota!" (unclebucky)
We now return you to our regularly scheduled mayhem. Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, September 9, 2013
Note: Construction on the Donald Rumsfeld Memorial in Washington, D.C. has been postponed on account of we're not quite that insane yet. ---Mgt.
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13 days!!!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the mayoral primary in New York City:
1
Days 'til Maine's 142nd
Cumberland County Fair:
13
Year of the Geneva convention that banned the used of poison gas as a weapon of war:
1925
Number of jobs created in August:
169,000
(Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics Schmatistics)
Expected economic boost to Minnesota over the next three years related to the state's new same-sex marriage law:
$42 million
(Source: The Williams Institute at the UC School of Law)
Average price of a vehicle in the U.S. last month:
$31,252
(Source: AP)
Number of i's in "team":
4
(Source: RNC chair Reince Priebus)
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Puppy Pic of the Day: A Perfect storm of cute
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CHEERS to the airing of grievances. President Obama will be making his case today for missile strikes in Syria by talking to every media outlet with a working microphone or printing press. Mine was his first interview of the day, and here's the complete transcipt:
Obama gets Bill-grilled.
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BIPM: Mr. President, how are you?
THE PRESIDENT: Fine. Thank you, Bill.
BIPM: Oh my god, the President of the freakin' United States just said my name! I will never wash these smartphone earbuds again evuh evuh evuh! I gotta go tell the gang over at Burger King!!! Squeeeeee… [Click]
THE PRESIDENT: Hello?
Put me down as a definite maybe.
JEERS to the return of the nasty people. After loading up on vegemite sandwiches and traveling to the polls in a fried-out Kombi, Australians voted for whatever they vote for over there. (Probably a kangaroo court---Ha Ha Ha!) Now they have a new leader, and I'm sure you want to know, "Who can it be now?" Sadly it's a conservative. So get ready for nice and sensible things to be taken away from you, Down Underers. Because if it's one thing we all know, no matter what hemisphere you're in, conservatives always move in a counterclockwise direction.
JEERS to the Founding Flip-floppers. On this date in 1776, the Continental Congress, caving to the pressure of cutthroat lobbyists, officially changed our country's name from "United Colonies" to "United States." Of course, the name has changed again in recent years. Today we call it, "United? Ha!"
CHEERS to flappin' your wings and making some noise. Keep your eye on the diaries this week and rec up the climate change blogathon posts when you see them. Instead of explaining the frying of our planet through the usual charts and graphs and scientific terminology, this blogathon focuses on personal stories because, says organizer Patriot Daily News Clearinghouse...
Climate Blogathon starts today.
...when people see the harm themselves or experience the harm personally, some eyes open to the reality that we need to address climate change, while others are now more open to questioning what they've been told by the GOP or corporations.
The purpose of our blogathon is to show how climate change impacts happening now personally affect people today. Individual diaries will vary widely: One may be a personal story of the diarist; another might be a story about how impacts have harmed other people.
The theme of the blogathon is called "Hummingbird," signifying that even small efforts over time can add up to big payoffs. So watch for the posts and join the discussion. Glass beakers of nectar will be served.
CHEERS to the home of 55 Awesome Electoral Votes. On September 9, 1850, California became the 31st state in the union. And if there's anything---anything at all---that thye rest of us can do to make you Golden Staters more comfortable, just ask. We love you, California. We love you, we love you, we love you. Especially every four years in November.
CHEERS to Godzilla bait. And lo and behold, the gods of the International Olympic Committee did speak from on high, entrusting their togas and torches of the 2020 summer games to…[I was gonna say "drum roll please," but I think "Bang my gong" fits better here]…Tokyo!!!
A Fox News viewer has a dream
about the 2020 Tokyo Olympics.
Tokyo has hosted international events before, including the Olympics in 1964 and the World Cup---co-hosted with South Korea---in 2002. But this latest milestone comes at a particularly critical time asJapan’s population grays and shrinks and its younger generations grow more pessimistic and withdrawn.
“These Games can be a turning point for Japan,” venture capitalist Yoshito Hori said at one early-morning viewing party, an Olympics-logo towel draped around his neck. “As a nation, we tend to underestimate ourselves---and we’ve lost confidence. This can be a chance to regain it.”
When she heard the news, Michele Bachmann accused the IOC of bowing down to foreigners and added, "It's because of that cockadoodie Gangnam Style guy who palled around with Mao and Stalin." Within one news cycle, Fox News convinced 90 percent of its audience that the decision was part of a Benghazi-related coverup. And Congressman Louie Gohmert plans to introduce articles of impeachment against Pokemon around noon.
CHEERS to the Peacock Network. Eighty-seven years ago today---in 1926---the National Broadcasting Company (NBC) was organized. Their news division (and cable spin-off) is about the only one I can stomach these days (Morning Joe and David Gregory excepted), and their history is dotted with so many awesome shows (start with Johnny Carson and Laugh-In and West Wing and Cheers and Frasier and The Office and go from there) that it makes me wanna hit the lottery so I can spend the rest of my life re-watching 'em all. But as far as we're concerned, their most lasting legacy will always be those chimes…
Ear candy.
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Five years ago in C&J: September 9, 2008
JEERS to the last straw. I've cut Sarah Palin a lot of slack since her nomination in St. Paul. I've embraced her small-town values and executive experience. I believe her proximity to Russia gives her a unique ability to win Cold War II. But none of that matters anymore. It turns out she wasn't voted Miss Congeniality like her Wikipedia entry stated. Betrayal: it burns like dry ice.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to cracking open the musty, dusty record book. The Yankees-Red Sox rivalry is the stuff of legend. The prime directive when they face each other is, simply, "SMASH." Over the weekend one of those teams took it and knocked the other team back into the last century:
Just playin' a friendly
little game of catch.
The AL East leaders became the first visiting team in more than a century to score at least nine runs on three straight days against the Yankees. In fact, the last time it happened, they weren't called the Yankees---Boston did it in 1912 to the Highlanders at Hilltop Park.
Add in a 20-4 pasting of Detroit on Wednesday, and the highest-scoring team in the majors has amassed this four-game total: 54 runs, 17 homers and 64 hits.
I post this strictly in the interest of preserving the history of America's pastime. Which, of course, is called gloating.
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
A new report from the Food and Drug Administration published Tuesday says that Cheers and Jeers is highly likely to pose a greater threat to the public health than regular cigarettes.
---Al Jazeera America
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