Here I go thinking once again…
I try not to do too much of it, because it hurts my head, and interferes with really important stuff, like watching football, baseball, or drinking my gin and Geritol. That being said, there are a few things I’ve noticed and wondered about…
We live in a one level house, all the floors are flat, but I can’t walk across the room without tripping over something. Usually it’s the dog, but if he’s not around, I will find something else.
This has less to do with age and more to do with bad luck. Speaking of the dog, whenever he has an accident, I have an uncanny ability to find it with my bare feet.
We have a growing collection of vitamins, supplements, and pills all in pretty little his and her containers. We have other collections also, ankle braces, knee braces, wrist braces, crutches, and a CPAP machine. Hell, now we even have a spare wheel chair.
With all the mail I get from AARP, how can the postal service possibly go broke ?
I am smart enough to know that when someone tells me I look good for my age, they are really saying, you look like crap, but at least you’re still alive.
My wife tells me that I have selective hearing, or for that matter, no hearing…” Not True“.
I have noticed however, that for some reason, she has started to talk a lot softer.
Lately, I’ve been hearing ( selectively ) that I’m not getting older, I am becoming mature. I don’t know who thought up that idea, but I think they deserve a special place in the AARP hall of fame.
My theory about aging, is that we must age on the weekends. Time seems to stand still while at work, and fly bye on the weekend. If my calculations are correct, by throwing out weekends and the odd vacation, I am really 24 years old. I think I’ll call that “Sorta Randle’s theory of Relative aging”. I’m pretty sure this is what Einstein was hinting at.
Mentioning Einstein and me in the same paragraph is pretty heady stuff. I better get me another gin and Geritol, and call it a day.
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