Last night, Bill Maher returned from summer break and delivered a final New Rule on how bad our foreign policy of bombing other countries looks to those other countries on the receiving end of our threats.
And finally, New Rule: 12 years after 9/11, and amidst yet another debate on whether to bomb yet another Muslim country, America must stop asking the question, "Why do they hate us?"Video below the fold.
Forget the Syria debate, we need a debate on why we're always debating whether to bomb someone. Because we're starting to look not so much like the world's policeman, but more like George Zimmerman (audience oohs and applauds) — itching to use force and then pretending it's because we had no choice.
Now, I'm against chemical weapons, and I don't care who knows it. And I do understand the appeal of putting the world on notice that if you use poison gas, the United States of America will personally — personally — fuck you up! We will seek out the counsel and support of the entire nation of families, and then no matter what they say, we'll go ahead and fuck you up!
But however valid that argument may be, it is, I believe, outweighed by the fact that we have to stop bombing Muslim countries if we ever want to feel safe from terrorism in our own. The chemical weapons treaty is important. But to the jihadi on the street, it just looks like we're always looking for a new reason to bomb them. Even worse, bombing seems to be our answer for everything.
Since 1945, when Jesus granted America air superiority (audience laughter), we have bombed Korea, Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Lebanon, Grenada, Panama, Iraq, Serbia, Somalia, Bosnia, the Sudan, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Libya, and Yemen. And Yemen only because the tenth one was free. (audience laughter)
How did we inherit this moral obligation to bring justice to the world via death from above? Are we Zeus? It doesn't make any sense. Our schools are crumbling, and we want to teach everyone else a lesson. (audience applause)
And look, I am no fan of Assad, and I say that openly. I don't care if it costs me jobs in Hollywood. (audience laughter) I think he is the worst kind of sociopath — the kind who commits unspeakable acts, but who looks like a shoe salesman at Macy's. (audience laughter)
I'm just pointing out that we're the only country in the world that muses out loud about who we might bomb next. Iran? Yeah, we might bomb you. Yeah, we're thinking about it. Maybe, depends on my mood. We did this with Iraq after 9/11, even though they had nothing to do with 9/11. We do it with Iran every day, and now it's Syria's turn. We're like a schoolyard bully who's got every kid in the class nervous they're going to be next.
And I don't know if anybody should have that kind of power. Can you imagine going to work, and sitting at the table with the lunch, with 10 different people in front of you and saying, "Hey, you think we should... ah... kill Bob?" (audience laughter) "Well it would send a message to Steve." (audience laughter)
Who acts like this? People in other countries don't talk like this. Probably because if they did, we'd bomb them! And we're the only nation, as we have seen in this Syrian fiasco, who threatens to drop bombs on you while telling you we don't want to get involved. We're just bombing. Please, don't get up. Just bombing. No boots on the ground. No, a little light bombing, we'll be out of your hair in a week.
I remember being on the Howard Stern show 12 years ago this week, right after 9/11, and Howard said that in retaliation for 9/11, America should bomb a Muslim country. Any Muslim country, it didn't matter which one. And yet somehow, I was the one on trial for talking crazy. (audience applause)
And I remember thinking to myself, really? Bomb any Muslim country? That's the policy? Just get a map of the Middle East, and throw a dart at it? Well, apparently George W. Bush was listening, cuz that's exactly what we did.