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12:1 And lo, those who shall not work shall not eat, and Jesus multiplied the money changers wealth and kicked a beggar in the ribs on his way out of TempleMart, 12:2 and the holy ghost of the invisible hand was with him, and he did not stray to the left but teabagged a concealed carry shotgun, for the free market watches over us and keep us, in Ayn Rand's name we praise.

12:3 And Saint Reagan smiled down upon Jesus with laser beam eyes from atop his throne of skulls, and Jesus fired his holy shotgun in salute, 12:4 for guns are freedom and render unto Ceaser that which he can pry from our cold dead hands.

12:5 And the people cried, "WE NEED FOOD!", and Jesus answered them "GET A JOB!" before telling them to bathe.

12:6 Then Jesus mounted his fossil fuel powered Pterodactyl with Ted Nugent and flipped off all the socialists and liberals, 12:7 and he went to house of his job creator father until he sobered up at the age of 40 and ran for Governor of Texas.

~Excerpted from The Book of Reagan



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