I’m sitting here, trying to remember what I was going to remember, to help me remember.
I know that first sentence doesn’t seem to make sense, but I’m sure more than a few of you know exactly what it means.
I used to be so damn smart when I was 16. Now at 60, I realize, the older I get the less I seem to know. I figure that if I live long enough, I won’t know anything at all.
I started out with a tri-cycle, moved on to a Schwinn, then to a Harley Davidson. Now I’m back to a Schwinn. Tri-cycle is on order from eBay.
We have a dog named Baxter. I know his name is Baxter, because my wife tells me his name is Baxter. All this time, I thought his name was “Hey You Quit That”.
I’ve noticed, the older I get, the colder I get. If the house gets below 70 degrees, I go running for clothing reinforcements. My wife on the other hand is a (German Viking ) woman who thinks anything above 50 is a heat wave. We follow each other around the house…thermostat up - thermostat down, window open - window closed.
If my skin is blue, my teeth are chattering, and I have snot cycles hanging from my nose, she thinks we’ve finally got it right.
We have a whole bunch of things hidden away for safe keeping, I think they are pretty safe, because neither of us has a clue where they are.
I’ve figured out ( all by myself ) that a few things have little or nothing to do with age, for example….
1. Hearing loss = too much Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd.
2. Memory loss = too much pot in the 70s.
3. Fading eyesight = we all know the world has gone completely out of focus.
4. Wrinkles = too much sun.
5. Aches and pains = too much Tennis, football, and softball when I was
younger.
Sort of sounds like an acute case of denial, but it’s not. Facts are facts !!!
My wife is completely responsible for all of my gray hair, plain and simple.
When I met her, my hair was long and DARK BROWN. Now after all these years with her, my hair is grey, turning white. It doesn’t take much to figure out that it’s her fault… I even have the pictures to prove it !!!
After I read this to her, she is muttering something about neutering and an appointment with a divorce lawyer. “I wonder what that’s all about”.
I probably better quit this before I get myself into some serious trouble, although something tells me that neutering is pretty serious.
-RM-
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