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I ain't got no fancy degree from one of them "Ivy League" schools—where radical professors indoctrinate students in book-learnin' and whatnot—but I've eaten more than my fair share of White Castle's little hamburgers over the years.

As such, I think I'm on solid ground when I say that The Empire Strikes Back is the best "Star Wars" film ever—and anyone who disagrees with me is literally Hitler.

Granted, I haven't actually seen any of the prequels, but I'm sure I wouldn't like them; as much as I dislike green eggs and ham, I know they've gotta taste better than anything George Lucas has cooked up since 1980.

Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense!

If Chewbacca lives on Endor, we must repeal Obamacare!

Morning lineup:

Meet the Press: Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX); Roundtable: Rep. Raul Labrador (R-ID), Former Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman (R), Former White House Press Secretary Dee Dee Myers and Chris Matthews (MSNBC).

Face the Nation: Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY); Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL); Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN); Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD); Chris Chocula (Club for Groth); Neera Tandem (Center for American Progress); Roundtable: Gerald Seib (Wall Street Journal), David Ignatius (Washington Post), John Dickerson (CBS News) and Clarissa Ward (CBS News).

This Week: Former President Bill Clinton (D); Iranian Foreign Minister Mohammad Javad Zarif; Roundtable: Republican Strategist Matthew Dowd, Former Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm (D), Bill Kristol (Weekly Standard) and Paul Krugman (New York Times).

Fox News Sunday: Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA); Sen. Tim Kaine (D-VA); Sen. Mike Lee (R-UT); Roundtable: Brit Hume (Fox News), Former Sen. Evan Bayh (D-IN), Kimberly Strassel (Wall Street Journal) and Juan Williams (Fox News).

State of the Union: Rep. Cathy McMorris Rogers (R-WA); Sen. John Barrasso (R-WY); Former Vermont Gov/DNC Chair Howard Dean; Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta; Former Rep. Artur Davis (R-AL); Ruth Marcus (Washington Post) and Ben Ferguson (CNN).

Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will launch its 46th season with: an interview with Secretary of State John Kerry (preview); a report examining America's mental health system (preview); and, an interview with Bill O'Reilly (preview).

On Comedy Central...

Emmy Award loser Jon Stewart declared Ted Cruz the Godwinner of the budget debate.

The Daily Show

Monday: Bill O'Reilly (Fox News)

Tuesday: Author David Mitchell

Wednesday: Actress Sandra Bullock

Thursday: Actress Kerry Washington

And Emmy Award winner Stephen Colbert welcomed back CNN's newly revamped "Crossfire."

The Colbert Report

Monday: "Breaking Bad" Creator Vince Gilligan

Tuesday: Actor Daniel Radcliffe

Wednesday: Chris Matthews (MSNBC)

Thursday: Author David Finkel

Elsewhere...

Nevada State Assembly Minority Leader Pat Hickey (R) predicted that the GOP will soon start to see dividends from their outreach efforts. Just kidding.

The top Republican in Nevada's state assembly predicted earlier this week that his party will triumph in 2014 in part because minority and young voters will be more apt to stay home in a non-presidential year. [...]

"We have some real opportunities in 2014," Hickey said Tuesday. "This is a great year in an off-presidential election. Seemingly no Democrat on the top of the ticket against [Gov. Brian] Sandoval. No Harry Reid. Probably where we had a million voters turn out in 2012, we'll have like 700,000. A lot of minorities, a lot of younger people will not turn out in a non-presidential. It's a great year for Republicans."

Meanwhile...

John McCain's 2008 campaign manager, Steve Schmidt, opened fire on Sarah Palin.

Palin became a leader of what Schmidt called an "asininity" wing of the Republican Party, hardcore conservatives looking to purge the party of moderates and anyone willing to compromise with Democrats.

"For the last couple of years, we’ve had this wing of the party running roughshod over the rest of the party," Schmidt said on MSNBC. "Tossing out terms like RINO, saying we’re going to purge, you know, the moderates out of the party."

"We've lost five U.S. Senate seats over the last two election cycles," he said. "And fundamentally we need Republicans, whether they're running for president, whether they're in the leadership of the Congress, to stand up against a lot of this asininity."

And, speaking of intra-party fighting...

Lynne Cheney and former Sen. Alan Simpson (allegedly) got in on the action this week.

Former Sen. Alan Simpson (R-Wyo.) is apparently furious at former second lady Lynne Cheney (R), accusing her of a "bald-faced lie" by denying his account of a disagreement the two had earlier this week.

Simpson said she told him to "shut up" multiple times following a discussion of his support for Sen. Mike Enzi
(R-Wyo.) in his primary against Cheney's daughter, Liz Cheney (R). He's now furious that she denies making the remarks.

"In all of my 35-40 years of public life in Wyoming, I've never been called one particularly offensive name — and that is, a liar. And this is what Lynne Cheney said in her statement about this sad evening, and I quote her: 'As to the story posted on Facebook I have to admit I am at a bit of a loss. That simply did not happen.' And that twisted comment is one damn bald-faced lie and I have had a belly full of it! I have never been called a liar before and it sure as hell won't work this time," Simpson writes in a lengthy letter to the Cody Enterprise.

Pass the popcorn.

- Trix

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